Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Washington Redskins
I know you’ve all (all 8 of you) been waiting for my opinion of the goings on in the NFL yesterday, and I’m here to not disappoint you (or am I?). So let’s get to it!
- Week 10 marks the beginning of Thursday Night Football, which I like about as much as Monday Night Football. I suppose if I lived on the west coast I wouldn’t care as much, but here in the east coast I don’t feel like staying up until midnight (or later) to watch a game. I will do it (albeit reluctantly) if my Bengals are playing, but that’s about it.
- So there was a game on Thursday. Carson “The Quitter” Palmer looked good for the most part. He threw for 299 yards on 20 attempts. Pretty impressive. Michael Bush ran roughshod over the Chargers, gaining 150 yards. I don’t think the Chargers are going to have that miracle surge that they seem to have in the second half of every year lately.
- The Saints edged out the Falcons 26-23 in overtime. Falcons head coach Mike Smith gift-wrapped the victory and handed it to the Saints by going for it on 4th and 1 (and failing) from his own 29 yard-line. It was an easy matter for the Saints to kick the game-winning field goal from right there. What the hell was Smith thinking?
- The Titans annihilated the Panthers yesterday. Newton was playing with an injury, and it showed. Ron Rivera is still not using Jonathan Stewart and Deangelo Williams the way he should. They are still throwing the ball more than running it, which is stupid when you have the best 1-2 running back punch in the league…and a rookie quarterback.
- The Bengals gave the Steelers all they could handle yesterday, but came up a touchdown short. They were in it all the way to the end despite not having Carlos Dunlap, losing AJ Green in the 2nd quarter (after making a hell of a catch, and Leon Hall in the 3rd (for the season).
- As much as it pains me to say it, Roethlisberger impressed me yesterday. On the drive in which the Steelers scored the go-ahead touchdown, Roethlisberger was getting hit nearly every down, yet when 3rd down came he would convert. He made some great throws and his receivers (Antonio Brown) made some great catches. He even converted a 3rd and 19 at one point. Asshole.
- There were two games yesterday that I’ll appropriately dub, “Toilet Bowls” In the first Toilet Bowl the Rams win over the Browns in Cleveland. Brandon Lloyd made a jaw-dropping one-handed catch in that game and I still don’t know why the Broncos traded him. The Browns lost even though they lined up for a chip-shot field goal at the end of regulation. In typical Brown’s style, they botched the snap, therefore the hold wasn’t good. Phil Dawson got the kick off, but shanked it because of the bad hold. It’s not fun to be a Brown’s fan this year.
- Dallas slaughtered the Bills yesterday. The Bills couldn’t stop the Cowboys on defense and the Bills offense just couldn’t do anything right, aside from Fred Jackson. Fitzpatrick threw three picks. Ugly game.
- In Toilet Bowl Part Deux, the Jags and Colts did “battle.” Curtis Painter played pretty well after he took over for Kerry Collins earlier this year, but has gotten progressively worse the last few weeks. He was benched in favor of Dan Orlovsky late in the game. For those who don’t know who that is, he’s the guy that ran out of the back of the end-zone for a safety when he played for the Lions. Yes, Colts fans, it’s that bad.
- I feel sorry for Maurice Jones-Drew. He’s Pro-Bowl back on a Toilet Bowl team. He deserves a chance to compete.
- In the wild, wild, AFC West the Chiefs and Broncos played in what was probably the biggest show of futility yesterday, but Tim Tebow once again somehow leads his team to victory. Tebow threw 8 passes and completed only two of them, but the Broncos still somehow won while losing both Willis McGahee and Knowshon Moreno early in the game.
- I can’t figure the Chiefs out. They play outstanding football one week, then horrible football the next. I surmise that the real Chiefs lay somewhere in the middle, but I wonder when we’ll actually see them?
- So Mike Shanahan thought that Rex Grossman would give the Redskins the best chance to win against the hapless Dolphins yesterday. Perhaps he hasn’t watched any game film of Grossman from, well, ever. Grossman threw two more picks and Miami won 20-9.
- The Dream Team is now officially the Nightmare Team. How do you lose to the Arizona Cardinals? At home? Philly has redefined the term “dysfunctional” this year. It started by making their long-time offensive line coach the defensive coordinator. Then by signing a bunch of high-priced free agents. Then Vince Young dubbed them the “Dream Team.” Desean Jackson got himself benched yesterday for missing meetings while crusading for a new contract. Things are getting ugly in Philly.
- The Cardinals may have a quarterback controversy on their hands, and after giving up so much to acquire Kevin Kolb it’s the last thing Coach Wisenhunt needs. John Skelton has led the Cardinals to victory in consecutive weeks while Kolb has been out hurt. It hasn’t all been pretty for Skelton, but he’s looked better the Kolb has at any point this year.
- Houston stomped all over Tampa Bay. Two words: Arian Foster. He’s unstoppable. Imagine how lethal this offense will be when they get Andre Johnson back.
- Baltimore lost to Seattle yesterday. I’ll pause for a moment while you laugh your ass off……….Okay, so their returner (whose name I cannot recall currently) lost two fumbles yesterday which the Seahawks turned into scoring drives. With the game on the line, the “vaunted” Ravens defense couldn’t keep the Seattle offensive from converting first downs. The last conversion was epic, as Marshawn Lynch juked Ray Lewis and another defender straight out of their jocks and then sprinted for the first. It’s on NFL.com. Seriously, go watch it. It’s gratifying.
- Screw that, I’ll put the link right here. It’s at the very end of the video, but watching Ray Lewis hang his head in shame is awesome.
- I don’t know what happened to the Lions yesterday. They just sucked. Matt Stafford apparently was playing with a broken index finger on his throwing hand, and it showed. He threw four picks, two of which were returned for touchdowns. The Lions turned the ball over two other times on fumbles by Calvin Johnson and Nate Burleson.
- The Lions/Bears game was just ugly all the way around. The Bears offense didn’t do much, and towards the end the Lions got feisty and started taking their frustration out on the Bears, which ultimately led to a brawl at the end of the game. There will be many fines handed out to players from that game.
- If anyone was still doubting the 49ers, they should be doubting no more after they took down the New York Giants yesterday. The Giants were in it all the way to the end of the game. They even converted to 4th downs on their final drive, but on a third 4th down Justin Smith batted down “Elite” Eli’s pass to end the game. The 9ers also did it without Frank Gore.
- The Patriots whipped the Jets (who suck) last night. Neither team looked all that great in the first half, but Tom Brady was able to lead the Pats down the field to score right before the end of the half and the Pats offense took off after that. Mark Sanchez had another terrible game, and continues to be the most overrated quarterback in the league.
- The Packers make it look easy, don’t they? Aaron Rodgers tossed four more TD’s against the Vikings last night and the Packers go 9-0 for the first time since 1962. I seriously don’t think they lose a game this year and will be the first team to repeat as Superbowl champs since the Broncos.
I think I covered everything…