I live in a duplex. It’s a pretty big sized duplex and I’m very happy with it. We have 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a 2-car garage, a half-basement, and a good-sized yard out back for the kids to run around in. There is one thing, however, that drives me absolutely nuts about this place sometimes. The people that live in the other half of this building.
These people don’t smoke in their house, which is great for them I guess. They smoke outside or in their basement if it’s cold out. When they smoke in their basement the smell somehow seeps into our basement which delights me to no end. The woman over there is loud and laughs at everything. It’s one of those hoarse, cacophonous laughs that sounds something like the sound barrier being broken. Or a lioness in labor. When they sit out on the deck that’s all I hear. Sometimes, I can hear that bitch through the walls. Their dog barks from the back door whenever we walk our dog. I don’t mind the dog barking. That’s what dogs do. When the dog barks, however, both of those idiots start yelling at the dog. It’s a dog, morons. It’s going to bark no matter how annoyingly and loudly you yell at it. For the love of Al Gore, shut the fuck up!
The other day when it was nice out, the guy and his son were out in the backyard playing cornhole and they had their dog tied to a stake in the yard. Baby B and I were outside playing basketball and I had to listen to that woman laugh the entire time. I was pretty close to winging the basketball at her. Then, their genius son decides he’s going to play with the dog and get the dog to chase him…while he was still tied up. It was all fun and games until the dog ran out of rope. The yelp the poor dog let out was horrible, but at least it got that stupid woman to stop laughing.
Today, their inner redneck came out.
They have a smoker. One of those barrel type grills you would cook a turkey or something in. They busted it out today, but not to cook with. They filled it with wood and started a fire in the backyard. So that was nice. They also had the dog tied to a stake in the yard again. The smoker was within the radius of the dog’s rope. Luckily the dog didn’t knock it over and light the backyard, but it would have served that idiot right. The guy was also out there in his coat and winter hat and drinking beer while sitting in a chair a couple of feet from the fire. It was chilly here today, but if he was cold I don’t understand why he just didn’t stay inside. I’m not adept at redneck logic, so perhaps there’s a perfectly good reason for this idiocy that eludes me.
Later, my wife took our dog out. When she walked to the side of the house so our dog could do her business…well, that idiot was out there doing his. On the side of the house. Why this guy was out there pissing on the side of the house when he has three bathrooms in his house (that he was pissing on) totally confounds me.
I just keep hoping against hope that these dumbasses will move out. Everything about these people annoys me. I’ll keep me fingers crossed…