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Le Clown is…wait…what?  What do you mean you don’t know who Le Clown is?  Blasphemer!  Heretic!  Other synonyms!

Honestly, I didn’t know who Le Clown was until a few months ago.  Then I came across this Unshitty™ post by the hilarious and ubiquitous Speaker7.  In the post, Speaker7 interviewed Le Clown, and asked the hard-hitting questions all of his carnies™ wanted the answers to.

What?  Carnies?  They’re like roadies, except they follow Le Clown.  And that’s way better than following some stupid band.  Fuck bands.  Why follow a band when you can follow Le Clown?

His Magnificence™.

Intrigued, I clicked on the link contained in Speaker7′s post.  And I was shocked.  Here was a blogger pushing boundaries.  He was swearing.  I like swearing.  He was goofy.  I like goofy.

Not that Goofy, though I like him, too.

He was a great writer.  And by all accounts, he still is.  He was a pioneer for Bloggers for Movember, an effort that got him Freshly Pressed.  In short, he was my kind of people.

Twindaddy, if you like his blog so much why were you so shocked?

An excellent question, dearest reader.  I was shocked, quite simply, by the following he had amassed.  It amazed me that someone so brazen and, well, wrong, could garner such a following.  It inspired me.  It emboldened me.  It let me know that I could cut loose on my own blog and not have to worry about people being offended or not following my blog or reading my work simply because I have a dirty mouth and I’m not right in the head.

I didn’t like him. He wasn’t right…in the head.

Sure, I swore on my blog before, but only did so to emphasize certain things.  I didn’t do it freely like I do in every day speech.  I was constantly worried about turning readers away by posting some of the weird shit in my head.  I was always wondering what people would think.  Would they be turned off by my language?  Would they be offended by my more disturbing thoughts?  Would my sense of humor scare them to their very core?

After reading Le Clown’s Magnificent™ blog I realized that there was a market for my brand of sickness.  I found that there were plenty of bloggers out there who shared my sense of humor just by reading the comments in one post.  Relief coursed through me.  I slowly starting cutting loose on my blog and emulating some of the things Le Clown did because 1) it worked for him and 2) I wanted to.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I’m flattering the fuck out of him.

I began trademarking my own unique words, such as stuph™, stuphblog™, and Unshitty™, which, sadly, I can’t take credit for but the creator didn’t trademark it.  So I did.  Le Clown has trademarked quite a few words, so I figured I should trademark my own.  That did not happen without consequence though.

trademark

Oops.

Oops again.

My first interaction with Le Clown was on this Magnificently™ Unshitty™ post.  Our exchange went as follows…

le best friend

My life really is complete now. Nothing since that fateful moment has mattered at all.

But what he said to me resonated deep within me.  Order 66.  Worked for me.  Le Clown.  Why the hell don’t I remember the Emperor having a red nose?  I searched the archives and found that he does indeed have a red nose.  You just have to really be looking for it.

Sure, when you see the stills it's easy to spot, but he's so fucking fast you don't really notice it in person.

Sure, when you see the stills it’s easy to spot, but he’s so fucking fast you don’t really notice it in person.

I still don’t recall much from those days.  After all, it was a long, long time ago.  We’ve had a few exchanges since then and I’ve treasured them all.

Recently, Le Clown announced the formation of the Le Clown Official Fanclub™.  You can tell it’s official because it has its own official graphic.

Impressive, no?  It’s all official-ly.  And stuph™.

See?  It’s official.  Le Clown is holding a contest for “El Presidente of Le Clown’s Official Fanclub™” which is quite ironic in that the presidential position has a Hispanic title and Le Clown is a French-Canadian mime.  Nonsensical.  But that’s what you come to expect from Le Clown, and you love it.  At least, I do.

Back to the contest, the winner of this contest gets to be BFF4EVS™ with Le Clown.  That is a very tempting prize, but I didn’t really consider entering the contest, because, quite frankly, I never win cool shit like this.  All I’ve ever won is a free small fries, or a free McFlurry™.  Fuck you, McDonald’s™.  And fuck you, too, Monopoly™.

But this morning, after a small Magnificent™ nudge from his Magnificence™, I decided…what the fuck?  The worst thing that can happen is I don’t win, right?  Right?

I hope that’s the worst that can happen.

I am therefor and hereby announcing my candidacy for the position of El Presidente of Le Clown’s Official Fanclub™.  I don’t know that I have the necessary time, resume, or endurance to accept this challenge, but who gives a shit?  I get’s me one step closer to Le Clown and another step closer to world domination.

pinky_and_brain

I have two things the other contestants don’t:

stormtrooper armor

AND I'm classy!  Back off, bitches.  This position is mine.

Plus I’m classy! Back off, bitches. This position is mine.

and I can make Le Clown LAWL

A ha. A ha ha ha ha.  I'm laughing it up with Le Clown, bitches.

A ha. A ha ha ha ha. I’m laughing it up with Le Clown, bitches.

So to the others who have thrown their hats in the ring (here’s looking at YOU BroJo and Rich) I have only one thing to say…

Le fuck off!

Le fuck off!