Tags
Automobile, lazy, lazy people, Parking, ramblings and rantings, Ranting, Sport utility vehicle, Stupid People, Stupidity
Let me preface this post by saying this: One of my pet peeves is people who sit in the middle of the parking lot waiting in their car while someone unloads their cart full of merchandise so that they can have said person’s parking spot. Those idiots clog up the parking lot while waiting and cause unnecessary bottlenecks and all I want to do is park and go inside. All that just to get a spot that might be 50ft closer than a spot that’s already open. Lazy fuckers. Get some exercise.
Furthermore, I don’t see the point in all the waiting. In the time it takes for a person to unload their cart, put it in the cart bin (if they are courteous enough to do so), and get back in their car and drive away you could’ve parked somewhere else, made it inside, and had half of your shopping done. Whew! That was one effed up compound sentence that I’m sure is filled with multiple grammatical errors. Oh well, on with the post.
I left a fax number out in my car this morning that I needed today. After eating lunch I decided to head out to my car to get it. It was on a post-it note which I had stuck to the top of my console so I wouldn’t forget it. That plan worked out well, didn’t it?
Anyhow, I got out to my car and opened the driver side door and rummaged around the console and it wasn’t there. I looked in the console and glanced on the floorboard in the back. I didn’t see it. So I decided to head around to the other side of the car.
Just as I was backing out of the driver side door, I saw a white SUV stop directly behind my car and begin to back up. I didn’t think much of it. Most people around here like to back into their parking spots for reasons I don’t quite comprehend.
I headed around and opened the passenger front door. I looked around the floorboard and under the seat. Nothing. I shut the door and went to the passenger rear door. Nada. So I closed that door and headed over to the driver rear door. Still couldn’t find it.
It was at that time that I noticed that the white SUV was parked in the middle of the aisle. Waiting for me to leave.
I’m not leaving, asshole!
So I decided to take my time and rummage around in the front seat again. I actually thought I found it under the driver’s seat, but it was just an old receipt. Oh well. I had dragged this out as long as I could. About 15 minutes.
So I closed all of my doors and used my key fob to lock them. I then started heading back inside. As I walked by the SUV, the driver, evidently upset that their plan to be completely lazy had been foiled, angrily slammed the accelerator down and took off like a bat outta hell.
And a satisfyingly mischievous smile slowly spread across my face.
That fucker could have parked, been inside and gotten about 10 minutes of work done instead of lazily waiting there for me to leave. Furthermore, it should have been readily apparent that I was not leaving. I was obviously searching my car for something. Moron.
Oh, and on my way back in I remembered that I had thrown that post-it note in my lunch bag and just wasted 15 minutes doing nothing but pissing that person off. Oh well. It was worth it.
Rant over. It was highly satisfying to inconvenience that tool and I hope whoever it was learned a valuable lesson.
I’m with you on this one. Except at Christmas time when there are no parking spots to be had anywhere. Then I cut folks some slack (if I’m in a good mood).
Well if there are no other spots I understand, but this was not the case. And most of the time when this happens to me it isn’t the case.
I was agreeing with you. Am I always that argumentative?!?!?!
Um, yes.
Am not.
See?
OMG were we separated at birth? I can bitch about stupid people like its neverending story! I could write thousands of posts with the stupidity I’ve seen at the supermarket alone. I once saw a shirt for sale that had “I see dumb people” on the front. I didn’t buy it because I didn’t want to spend the petrol money, but I totally should have. I’d be wearing it constantly. I loved this post. As usual you made me laugh loud and long.
I DO see dumb people. They ARE everywhere. And they really DON’T know they’re dumb.
The worst is when they try to tell you things, like Revis and his doctor’s appointment the other day. Giant face palm!
And what’s really sad is when you confront them with their own stupidity, they still don’t see it.
Lol….I love this post. I actually had someone in a Walmart parking lot roll down their window and ask me to hurry up as I was loading in my purchases. Really?? Humanity fail.
Ugh. I hate people. I really do. I have no faith in humanity left.
After that I took much longer rearranging all the bags which was unnecessary, but enjoyable.
Right? I like to see how lazy some people are going to be. It’s like an experiment.
I’m with you if there are plenty of spots available. Especially when I’m loading my daughter into the car, I’ll take my sweet time. But as Elyse said, if there is a legitimate dearth of spots, then the waiting is understandable.
Right. That wasn’t the case here. He just wanted the front spot, and I get that, but c’mon. You shouldn’t wait 15 minutes for one.
Another post that further’s my undying love for you. (Totally platonic of course)
AND I am one of those non-lazy fuckers who parks farthest from the entrance to the store because I am TOO LAZY to look for a spot close to the entrance.
HA HA HA!!!
Note: I totally said the ha-ha’s like this:
http://video.adultswim.com/harvey-birdman-attorney-at-law/the-ha-ha-ha-timeline.html
(Totally platonic of course)
Dammit!!
Anyway, I’m not too lazy to look for a close spot…I’m too impatient. If I see one, great. If not, then I park wherever. I don’t have time to wait for someone to unload their cart. Plus it’s rude to the people stuck behind you.
Wait a second, I have a white SUV and I watched some asshole in a metal suit air out his car for 15 minutes and then lock it down. I would have nailed him with the gun I was packing in my glove box, but the sun gleaming off his white suit didn’t allow me to line up a shot.
Denmother
Denmother,
Don’t act like you didn’t have a shot. You were staring at my ass. We both know it. You were mesmerized and lost your focus.
Busted. Maybe it was the sun that shines out of your ass that threw me off as well.
Denmother
I am positively radiant, aren’t I?
I saw a meme for this. It said: Having a day without dealing with stupid people is like…never mind, I’ll let you know if it happens.
I had one once, but I was sick and didn’t leave the house.
When waiting for a space on campus, I would follow people to their cars b/c there would be absolutely NO parking spaces available, so I had to stalk people so I could make it to humanities on time ~ I HAD NO CHOICE, DAMN IT!
If there are no spaces that’s different!!
I also like to park far away and get to walk (unless it’s night and I’m alone – then I am a bit more cautious). But I totally know where you’re coming from.
Woohoo!!
Which would be the parking lot.
I’m sorry Ruty, but when I was in college and I knew someone was following me to get my parking spot, I would walk slowly down the row towards my car, and then at the last second step through the cars to the row my car was actually in and back out, giving the spot to someone who had randomly pulled up at the right time. Talk about two birds with one stone!
I like your style.
I hate it when people do that. I’ve actually been ready to leave, seen someone behind me, and started just sitting there, kicking back. I do not like to back out when someone’s waiting there. I’m afraid I’ll hit the morons.
And morons they are.
I always park in the back. We call it butt fucking dundee bc it is that far away from the building. There are always place though. I also love taking my time strolling down the aisle as the people tail me. I love to see the looks on their faces when they realize they have been “denied”. Ha!
It is very fun.
I purposely take my time, and then walk back in. I hate people waiting for me to move. I work holiday times at a mall. I purposely walk out to my car, and then back in looking at the line of about 8 cars deep, sitting and waiting because someone decided they needed my spot that I wasn’t moving from. I just wanted to eat in peace and quiet away from the crazies.
Lol.
I would have loved to have been there to see the expression on their face as they drove off in a tiff. Moron, indeed. Open your eyes and observe the world around you.
In parking lots that are big enough I’ve started parking out in the “north 40″ to steer clear of that sort of nonsense. I don’t mind walking, and it’s less likely my car will be dinged by an idiot in a hurry or a misplaced cart that someone couldn’t bother putting away correctly.
Great rant. I’m right there with you. Had one of my own a few weeks ago where the kicker of it all had to do with carts not being returned to their bin in a small parking lot where the farthest someone would have to walk to return one would be all of 15 feet or so…
People are just rude and lazy.
That sounds so worth it. I love doing stuff like that. For some reason when the rest of society gets in their cars they annoy me more than usual. I can’t stand them. I hate when people wait for “good spots” too. We could all use a little exercise, why not park in the back of the lot? Ugh.
Agreed. I don’t get it either.
Woohoo! Go Sexy Stormtrooper!
I have to park next to this freak that thinks he can take up two spots just because. Some days I sit around plotting to key his car.
If you do it naked he probably won’t even mind.
I love doing stuff like that too lol.
Isn’t it fun??
OMG! This is also one of my biggest peeves. I LOVE when the isle is narrow and the lot is small, then not only is the lazy fucker waiting…EVERYONE else is forced to wait for the lazy fucker to get that chosen spot. I also enjoy the the spinners. These are the lazy fuckers who will burn a tank of gas circling the lot for that perfect spot.
Ugh, that’s even worse…
You’re preaching to the choir, friend. I deal with idiots every day.
I know. I feel sorry for you in that regard.
I absolutely hate people that do this. Sometimes I get it– it gets WET in Oregon, and sometimes you want to park as closely as possible. It’s when the person is clearly being douchey and lazy that I get annoyed.
I’m also spiteful. Sometimes I’ll be walking towards my car, and see a person speeding down the aisle, cutting people off and mowing down pedestrians just to get my spot. I’ll wave them on, pretending I’m not leaving. Then, when they pass me, I’ll begin backing out, letting someone else in.
I’m an asshole.
I like you, Jen. You’re my kinda people.
I like your thinking!
Another good thing to do to annoy other drivers is when you’re driving at the speed limit for the road and the person driving behind is driving far too close to you, is to gradually slow down so that you’re driving say, 5mph below what the limit is for the road. Either they’ll get the message and back off, or they’ll get really, really frustrated and over-take at the first opportunity.
I do that if someone is way too close.
It’s amazing how the same things affect so many people. And it’s fecking annoying when they stop dead centre so you can’t swing past them.
I know!!
That’s excellent and very Unshitty™ of you. Good job. A buddy of mine and I were out Christmas shopping one year about 10+ years ago and we were at Tri-County Mall. We were done and went out to his car and immediately a ton of cars stopped, all waiting for us to leave so they could fight over the parking spot. Just to be dicks we put our bags in the car and started walking back to the mall. They all did the same thing, sped off angrily. As soon as they had cleared out, we went back to the car and left.
Haha! Tis the season…