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baking, Birthday, blog, blogging, brownies, cakes, goodies, heart break, Humor, humour, lamenting, Life
[Editor's Note: I've had plenty of guest bloggers here recently, but none of them were badass mercenaries. This one is. Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher is just that. And she is so competent at her job that she found me out on Facebook without much to go on. She's that good.
She and I have become fast friends and I'm extremely envious of her talent with written words. I'm sure you will be, too. As always, please visit her blog when you're finished reading her masterpiece here and click the almighty FOLLOW button so you can have mercenary badassery delivered straight to your inbox.]
Um…well, here I am. This is kind of weird for me. I’ve never been a guest-lamenter before.
You see, the other day I was talking with Twindaddy – well, letting him know that I was somewhat envious of the amount of content that zings around his massive brain and shows up on his blog. So we had some back and forth about it – and I revealed that I have quite a bit zinging around my (less) massive brain as well, but my blog is not anonymous – so a lot of stuff that I want to write about, I sort of can’t… Well, I could – but I risk offending and possibly losing friendships/family relationships because of it. Twindaddy, the epitome of a gentleman, offered up his space for my emotional purging. How sweet and generous is that? You know the answer – it’s pretty damn effin’ fine, is what it is.
So here I am. Like I said – this is kind of weird. It is one thing to fill up your own space with ‘trite’ but it’s a different ball o’wax to do it elsewhere. I thank you Twindaddy and hope I can write something worthy of your Storm-trooper Awesomeness.
The Baker’s Lament
So here’s the deal, I’m a baker. I used to be a professional baker at a trendy hippie restaurant for several years; and now I bake as an avocation. I love to bring baked goods to any potluck and I often offer to make birthday cakes for my friends. I do it, not because I want to be the only one baking or basking in the glory of happy eaters, but because my friends do so much for me and this is how I can give something back to them. I bake out of love and it brings me joy – on many levels. And ok, I like basking in the glory of happy eaters!
However, I feel really sad and somewhat horrified when I hear people tell me that they don’t want to bring a baked item to a party or gathering I’m at because they feel I’m going to judge them or something. I have NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER made a disparaging remark about anyone’s baking – I love trying other creations from people. I don’t care if you make it from a box or from scratch. I love making baked goods and I love EATING baked goods. There’s room in world for a multitude of bakers as far as I’m concerned. And I’m not into one-upmanship.
But here’s where my heart broke. We went to a birthday potluck recently and the birthday person sent me a recipe with a cute “yes, please”…so I made it prior to the party and we tested it – it was fabbo. So I asked if I should make it for the adult party on Friday or the Family party on Sunday (which was a potluck). Birthday person said “doesn’t matter – it’s up to you.” So I decided to double the recipe and bring it on Friday and then have it for Sunday.
So we eat some of it on Friday and I tell birthday person it’s for Sunday as well. Then Sunday rolls around and I’m helping set up for the party and whatnot…I notice that she is putting out the food people have started bringing; she’s putting out some brownies and I said “oh – are there still some of the brownies from Friday left?” and she says “yes, but we’re enjoying “Jill’s” recipe tonight”. I was crushed. I’m still crushed. And it wasn’t as if that was the main birthday goodie – there was a cake for later. This was just general food on the buffet. I’ve never had something I brought to a potluck rejected.
So am I being too sensitive? Should I have asked why she did that? Should I just let it go? I feel like I don’t want to bring goodies over there anymore. Sigh…
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest, Twindaddy ~ I hope it wasn’t too trite.
Possibilities, (1) Birthday girl loved it so much that she’s saving it for herself and didn’t want all the boys to gobble it up, (2) Someone spent too much time/money/thinking on cake and there was fear that the cake might not be eaten if there were too many desserts, and she figured you wouldn’t mind since you’re a hero, (3) Jill’s a baby and complained right before the party, saying she wouldn’t have brought dessert if she knew a pro was going to outshine her, and the birthday girl decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle so she decided to save Jill’s life at the cost of your offering, (4) Birthday girl doesn’t know how a potluck works and is one of those people that thinks people can “over eat” dessert.
I think all of those are more likely than any possibility regarding your personality, your baking, or you at all. So, there’s no point in calling her out because it’ll just force her to point our her own insecurities, Jill’s, or your superiority. It’d be awkward for you both.
Still, though, I’m pretty sure BirthdayGirl has some pretty nasty Potluck karma coming her way, poor thing.
Yes. I wholeheartedly agree.
Sounds reasonable to me, And I don’t even know you
Thanks Steve!
You’re probably right – it would be awkward. And Jill’s brownies were DELICIOUS. I love the idea of nasty potluck karma. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I would eat the hell out of your baked goods any number of consecutive days that you supplied them! This will be fun reading your posts over here too. My blog isn’t anonymous either so I get the censorship issues. Would you like to post on She Said What? I would be happy to have you anytime, more than happy, honoured! I am also totally jealous of your boss-like powers of Facebook.
Thanks Steph – who would have thought that whining on Twindaddy’s blog would lead to being invited to whine elsewhere! And right back attcha – if you ever want to post on my space – please do so. It feels good to actually say what you want -THANK YOU TWINDADDY!
I would be happy to supply you with BAKED GOODS!
Oh you had me at baked goods. I’m all yours!
hee hee hee…
I’ve sent you an invitation
I saw it!! I want to think of something to write about before accepting – is that cool? Is there a topic you’d suggest?
cool, no rush, just leave it open until you have something you want to write about. I have no topics really, my blog is about everything and anything, so whatever takes your fancy. I am soooo super glad I did the invitation correctly this time! When I did TDs it went to some random guy that wasn’t him (how embarrassing!)
Hee hee – I love stories like that! I will start to think… and I want it to be something I’d not post on my own space…b/c I too know who reads me.
Oh!!! How awkward! I would be hurt too, especially since she asked you to bring them. But I think Rarasaur got it right: your friend was saving all those brownies for herself or maybe she ate them all and didn’t want to admit it
. Of course, like you, I love to bake and it’s one of the ways I express my love and I can be very sensitive about how people react. It’s easier said that done, but it might help to let your friend know you were hurt and clear the air.
Kylie – thanks for understanding – I don’t know if I’m at the place where I could have a rational conversation yet. Isn’t that crazy? I’ve known this person for 17 yrs too!
I hear that! It can take a while to cool off. And some things aren’t worth bringing up, but other things fester. *Why we blog*
Oh also, I have that Top Secret Classified Files blog and have opened it up to other people to post private stuff and get support. You are welcome to come visit and write without editing.
Thank you Kylie ~ considering that i’m a bit dry right now on my own site, it’s nice so many bloggers will open their spaces to allow people to post!! Do I have to follow APA?
Absolutely not. What a pain.
My first thought was that they were so good she was saving them for herself, however couldn’t understand why she just didn’t say that to you. Honestly, if you are bold enough to make the request and provide the recipe, then you are bold enough to say “your brownies are now part of my secret stash, hope you don’t mind that I want to eat them all.”
I know I would be hurt, because it is hurtful. If she is a good friend I would ask what her intention was before coming to an assumed conclusion.
Good luck!
Thank you for your sage insight. I’m the queen of ‘the assumed conclusion’ and it might have been something innocent that you and others have suggested. There’s probably a lesson in this situation for me to learn – or something
I wasted many years as Queen..trust me it’s easier on you to just ask. : )
You’re probably right!
Denise,
Someone needs to ask: Did they do gluten free bread at the trendy hippie bakery?
Le Clown, always asking the tough questions.
Le Clown,
Shouldn’t the question be how much the special brownies were?
Twindaddy
Twindaddy,
Not if you’re an ex-addict.
Le Clown
Le Clown,
Geez… Now I feel bad.
Twindaddy
Twindaddy,
Have a special brownie, you will feel better.
Le Clown
Le Clown,
I already did. And I think my helmet may now be on backwards because I can’t see shit right now.
Twindaddy
Hee hee…there are gluten free options, Le Clown. I’m passing on the special brownies remark, however ~
She probably scarffed the lot the night before and so had none left for the day
I hope so!
Rutabaga,
I wouldn’t worry about it. Honestly, she was probably just trying to protect Jill’s feelings. Had your goodies been put out along with hers, yours would’ve been eaten first and Jill might have felt bad. Or been embarrassed. Or some other emotions that I can’t think of right now.
However, if it will make you feel better, you can mail the leftovers to me and I will eat them and then blog about your culinary prowess. For whatever that would be worth.
Oh, and you can lament here any time you would like. My virtual door is always open for you.
Twindaddy
aww – thank you. I’m probably being completely over sensitive.
No, I understand your feelings. I just think your friend was more interested in saving Jill’s feelings.
I only have one question: When are you going to write for me?
You’re brilliant!
AWWWWW – Thank you Hook – I’m touched. You’re a hard act to follow, my friend.. I don’t run into nearly enough hookers in elevators!
Who does?
Besides me, of course.
See? I need to hang out in more elevators.
True.
If someone baked brownies for me on Friday night, I would be embarrassed to admit that my hubby had eaten every crumb of them and there were none left by Sunday. You can bake for my hubby any time… he has a sweet tooth plus. I can’t keep enough sweets in the house for him. Do not think you should take it personal at all. Keep up the great job.
He is drooling over my shoulder as I am answering this lol
Hee hee…
Maybe she ate them all and was too embarrassed to tell you. With me, that is very very likely to happen. People don’t leave me alone with dessert.
But whatever the reason, you aren’t being too sensitive. She should have put both out anyway, what person in their right mind says no to two different kinds of brownies? Plus she asked you to make them, so you have all the right to be hurt.
I suspect there might be something deeper going on that I need to either respond to or just move on – my friend always tells me to listen to what the universe is saying to me not what I think it’s saying about others… and maybe I have done something offensive or she was just not on the ball…
I would love to dessert for ya any day of the week!
And I’d eat your dessert
anyevery day of the week!I got a blueberry cobbler with your name on it!
Yay!
You should have loudly declared, “Bring out my FUCKING brownies NOW!”
(We really let it all hang out over here at Stuphland. I think we all feel better now. I know I do. I’ll be over at my genteel blog if anyone needs me.)
Where were you when I needed you, Rosemary???
Probably cowering behind the anchovy dip.
You Canadians can’t be anything but nice – except for the French Canadians – they are good at lettin’ it all hang out with French (from what I gather here in the USA where we like to stereotype EVERYONE).
Careful; Le Clown is listening…
He’s an anomaly
An anal what?
Hee hee…
You can come over here and shout “FUCK” whenever you like. You can even do it in a post, if you’re so inclined.
I think I need to nurture a suitable alter-ego first. Something with a mask. Tights? TBD.
Well Clowns and stormtroopers are spoken for. Hmmm…..I shall ponder this.
TIGHTS~
The problem is that I look so good in tights that it just confuses the other heterosexual men.
I say – DO IT!
I’m in, I’m in. I have a perfectly profane post for you.
Twindaddy – Why do you assume that I am not a badass mercenary?
But the real important question is…
Did the brownies have weed in them?
Uh – no….
Oh, that might have explained it
And it would not have made it out for the ‘family party’ … hee hee…
There is only one bad ass mercenary, and that is Rutabaga. There is not contenst, no question, no debate. Sorry if you’re a mercenary and not bad ass.
I’m pretty bad ass on the ice with a hockey stick ~
I wouldn’t dare challenge you. And I’m a bad ass stormtrooper.
This is a wall slide moment Denise!
I would eat the fuck out of your baked goods, and I don’t even like sweets. So there.
AWWW – I need you to live next to me
Maybe Jill had been promised the Sundat slot.
Or the hosts were just hogging your cake and keeping the deliciousness to themselves…
I’m probably just being hyper sensitive!
Maybe Jill was very proud of her recipe- passed down in her family, or something, and your friend, knowing how good your brownies were, didn’t want to blow Jill’s out of the water. Or she might just be anal, and want only one of everything on the buffet table- can you imagine two green bean casseroles? Or maybe your friend later regretted her spur-of-the-moment decision and never realized how it had hurt you. Just a few more options for you to ponder! P.S. now I’m hungry…
Thanks Happyzinny! Jill’s brownies were fabbo!!
It was just nice to get to write about it – as a way to let it go.. baking makes me happy – so I should be cool with that
They say to let brownies set until they are cool to the touch- maybe hurt feelings too! 😃
There is a simple answer. She at them all between parties. They were that good. You should go now and make her some more. And make some for me too. Thanks.
Well played! I’d be happy to make you baked goodies!!
It’s the best way to look at it. Saves both your friendship and your ego. (She was probably too embarrassed to admit she was a pig. I know I would be. I would also have eaten them all and not saved any for Sunday.)
It is so easy to assume a reason, isn’t it? I’ve read the assorted comments and maybe it would be worth just a quiet word with your friend – or send her a note – to say that you felt a little snubbed by what she said and that you’re sure she didn’t mean it that way, and is everything ok – or words to that effect.
Glad that Twindaddy was able to give you the rant-zone!
Thank you faithhopechocolate, I think you might be right. It is easy to come up with a million assumptions but never hit the right one b/c I’m seeing it from my POV not hers.
And she’s probably only able to see what happened from her POV. Hope you get it all sorted out. Xx
Thanks!