It goes without saying that things change once you become a parent. I think it’s also safe to say that it’s almost everything that changes. Even though that is true, you also find yourself surprised at the things that change, because it’s things you never thought would change or things you never really thought of before in the first place. For example:
Then: You always heard parents talk about how quickly everything goes by, and you kind of dismiss it because you’ve been around nieces/nephews (or a friend’s child) and they didn’t grow up too quickly. So, now you think you’re prepared for it.
Now: You realize they were saying it because it’s true. I look at the pictures of Baby E when she was in the hospital, and I don’t remember her being that small….and she’s only 7 months old.
Then: When you’d hear parents tell stories about their children, you’d kind of roll your eyes because you couldn’t believe they were getting that excited over something so small.
Now: You find yourself getting excited over all the small things. She said something that sounded like “Da Da” and I almost started crying.
Then: You used to get mad at those assholes who would drive the speed limit.
Now: When Baby E is in the car, I’m that asshole.
Then: When you got bodily functions on you (such as urine, snot, or feces), it was disgusting and you had to wash it off as soon as it got on you.
Now: It’s no big deal and it can wait until you’re done doing what you’re doing.
Then: The sound of a child screaming in a grocery store annoyed the hell out of you.
Now: It still annoys the hell out of you, unless it’s your child.
Then: You needed sleep to function.
Now: What’s sleep?
That’s all I can think of for now. Do you have any of your own? Feel free to leave them in the comments.
Then: I would never let my kid eat a cookie in the grocery store.
Now: Give them the cookie; it keeps their mouth full so they aren’t the ones screaming.
Then: I would never let my 2-year-old watch TV.
Now: Here honey, watch some TV; mommy needs a break.
I’m not there just yet. We do usually have Mickey Mouse Clubhouse playing in the background. She generally ignores it until they start singing. Everything stops and she has to watch whenever the “Hot Dog Dance” comes on.
Then: I couldn’t believe how overprotective parents were
Now: I wrap my son in bubble wrap. He’s 21.
Wouldn’t that make him fall down a lot?
Yes but he lands softly.
Yes, but he wouldn’t need to land softly if you didn’t make him fall in the first place. It’s a conundrum…..or something
Actually he got me back. Now he is a confirmed skateboarder and I have my eyes covered for life.
You don’t have any “good clothes” any more as guaranteed when you put something on the baby would spit up on it, lay food filled fingers all over it.
I can remember my mother saying “You are wishing that child’s life away”, it wasn’t until that my eldest started primary school that I knew what she meant. I spent first 4 years of his life saying “I wish he would sleep all night”, “I wish he would sit up”, “I wish he would walk” or “I would wish he would talk”. I learned with the other two younger children just to enjoy those times instead of “Wishing” them along.
Last thing you realise when becoming a parent things like chores not being done, the world will not end.
Any clothes I don’t want to get stained only get worn on the few times my wife and I can actually go out by ourselves, which has only happened 3 or 4 times since the baby has been born.
Then: I dreaded going to spend time with my parents (who are now both gone)
Now: I beg my kids to come home so I can see them for just a few hours.
*sigh*
Love your new look! It’s SO unshitty!
Thanks. I had my brother design it myself.
All so true! The sleep deprivations eventually goes away, and parenting gets easier every year….. LOL JUST KIDDING… ha, I’ve heard it gets easier …… eventually, I think once they are about twenty or so,, years that is! But it sure is an exciting adventure isn’t it?
I’m not complaining…..yet. I love every minute with her, even if it is at 4 in the morning.
Unless its your child? I’d say that makes it worse
Not for me, but, then again, she really hasn’t thrown a big tantrum in a store yet. If she cries it’s only cause she’s hungry.
Then: You liked your coffee piping hot.
Now: Eh, it’s cold, but at least I picked out the dead fly before I drank it.
Thankfully, I’m not a coffee person. I get my caffiene fix in a 12 oz. can (or 2) of Sunkist.
THEN: You woke up the neighbors with noises emerging from earth-shattering sex.
NOW: You pray for a good night’s sleep.
Actually, my Mom is one of my neighbors, so we’ve had to learn how to keep it quiet. That’s not a conversation I’d want to have.
I don’t blame you!
So true ALL of it… only kids screaming in grocery stores don’t and never have annoyed me (I even worked in one for 2 years…still didn’t bother me)
It bothers me when I see kids bossing around & being disrespectful to their parents…and strangers…. AND THE PARENTS LET IT HAPPEN.
BTW – I love how nonchalant I have become about the weird food/face/hand imprints I find on my derriere at the end of a long parental day. I giggle knowing so many people were looking at my butt prints.
Anyhow love this post…. unshitty as always <3
Hahaha. Butt prints.