As I was perusing my stats the other day, I saw that a particular meme I had uploaded had generated some hits due to Google searches for Red Forman. This particular meme, to be precise:
The meme reminded me of a time where I parented like Red Forman. I couldn’t remember why or what exactly I said, but I did remember that the terms “foot” and “ass” were used.
I also remembered documenting the story, and I thought I had done so on this here weblog, but after hours of searching I just couldn’t find it. When I woke up the next morning I decided to search Facebook for shits and giggles…and found it.
It happened much longer ago than I thought it had. It happened Saturday, October 15, 2011 to be exact.
Here, for your reading pleasure, is my Red Forman parenting moment:
Me: (to Baby A) Go brush your teeth and get your chores started so that you’re done by the time the Michigan game comes on at 12.
Baby A: But I’d rather play with Baby C
Me: Well I’d like to win a million dollars, but it ain’t gonna happen.
Baby A: But Baby C is right here.
Me: So is my foot, and your ass.
Baby A immediately stopped what he was doing and went to brush his teeth.
Thank you Red Foreman. Your inspiration has made me a better parent.
This draft has been sitting here for a couple of days, so funny shit that happened while it was in draft status I’m counting as outtakes because it’s my blog and there’s nothing you can do about it. *gives the Maphia™ a raspberry*
- This morning while getting Baby C dressed, he grabbed the footie part of the pajamas I had just taken off of him and shouted, “Oh no! Where’s piggies?”
- Earlier this evening, he was playing with his pepe (that’s his word for computer, which in this case was his Vtech laptop). He opened it up, sat on the keyboard, and asked, “Where’s pepe?” This kid cracks me up.