Alice, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, blog, blogging, Humor, humour, INSPIRATION, POST IDEAS, postaday, Ron White, Stupidity, Television, White Queen, Wonderland, WordPress, Writing, WRITING PROMPTS
Well, Monday rears its ugly head again. It seems like this happens at least once a week. It’s always after the weekend, too. Why (OH WHY?) does this keep happening?
I haven’t had enough coffee yet, but the prompt must go on. And so too, must I. So, let’s get to it, shall we?
Um, impossible, by its very definition, is something the cannot happen. No seriously, it is. I even went and looked it up. Need further proof? I shall provide it. Here, straight from dictionary.com, is the definition of impossible:
adjective1.not possible; unable to be, exist, happen, etc.2.unable to be done, performed, effected, etc.: an impossible assignment.3.incapable of being true, as a rumor.4.not to be done, endured, etc., with any degree of reason or propriety: an impossible situation.5.utterly impracticable: an impossible plan.
So, having established that impossible things are, well, impossible, I have to say that it would be useless for me to believe in them. Why put my faith in something I know can never happen? Sure, I could believe that I can fly, but it’ll never happen so why should I? Why should I do that to myself? That seems like a sure-fire way to constant disappointment.
So, as I’m known to do, I’m going to break the rules. I know, I know. You’re all extremely shocked and just dropped your coffee, tea, or water in utter disbelief. You, eating that doughnut, I’m sorry you just choked on it. I just can’t suffer today’s rules. They are impossible. Ha! Did you see what I did there? I kill me.
I’m going to list six (or as many as I can think of) things that are impossible that I wish weren’t impossible. And so, without further ado (I can’t believe it’s not ado), here is my impossibly impossible list.
- A way to control metabolism. Like with a knob or something. It kills me when someone who is paper-thin eats way more than me and doesn’t gain an effin’ pound. What the hell is the deal with that? I want to be able to crank it up for a while and burn off all those calories at will.
- Eternal life. I love being alive. I enjoy breathing very much. I don’t want to go anywhere. I have no interest in that never-ending slumber.
The elimination of stupidity. Seriously. I’m an impatient person and that’s something I’m really, really trying to remedy, but all my patience goes on strike in the face of blatant stupidity. My sarcasm asserts itself and my mood nose-dives like a kamikaze pilot. Depending on the severity of the stupidity, I might even get angry about it. It’s a waste of time and energy to get upset about it because, as Ron White so eloquently said, you can’t fix stupid. And that’s unfortunate.
- Beam me up, Scottie. I want the ability to teleport. I’ve met so many incredible people on WordPress who I’d like to meet in person but I don’t have the time or resources to do so. If Scottie could just beam me around so I could visit them that would be great.
- I want to visit that galaxy far, far away. Seriously, how effin’ cool would that be? I want to see the Mos Eisley cantina. I want to visit Alderaan before it gets blown to bits. I want to see Leia in that bikini in person. I want to use the Force. I want to see Coruscant. A planet-wide city would be quite a sight to behold.
- TV without commercials. Commercials annoy the shit out of me. There’s nothing worse than getting into a good show or movie only to have it interrupted by 2 continuous minutes of sheer idiocy. What makes it worse is how horrible commercials are. I guess this kind of goes with number 3, but commercials are unbelievably stupid. The ones that try to be funny fail miserably and end up aggravating me. I sit there and wonder what idiot thought it would be a good idea to not only pay to make this commercial, but also pay for the air-time needed to show it to a mass audience. Fail. Just fail.
Well, that’s the way things should be. And so we’ve come to that very special part of the post where I involve you, dearest reader. That’s right, it’s AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION TIME! What impossible thing(s) do you wish were possible?
Check out these other great Daily Prompt posts
- Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast. | Zen Scribbles
- Impossible is Nothing | Right Down My Alley
- The One That Mother Gives You Doesn’t Do Anything At All | The Jittery Goat
- Daily Prompt – Impossible | Joe’s Musings
- Not Six Impossible Things | Daily Prompt: Impossibility | likereadingontrains
- Daily Prompt | Six Impossible Things | Death By Any Other Name
- Not possible, or is it? | Spunky Wayfarer
- Impossible vs. Possible | بيسان
- Basically Beyond Basic
- Daily Prompt: Impossibility | I am Super Istar