Regifted Post: Thoughts from the Throne: What are Christmas songs about in the southern hemisphere?

I again am recycling another old Christmas post, because, well, ’tis the season.  And such. 

As usual (how sad is it that I can just say usual when referring to regifted posts?), I have updated and modernized the post for your viewing pleasure.  You’re welcome.

Thoughts From the Throne

Hopefully it’s not necessary for me to explain that when its winter here in the states the bottom side of the world is in the midst of summer.  Which begs the question: what are the Christmas songs about?

Christmas favorites like Let it Snow, White Christmas, and Winter Wonderland would make no sense down there.  And what about Frosty?  That poor bastard wouldn’t stand a snowball’s….well, you know.

Santa wears a different suit when visiting Australia.

Does Santa still dress up in a red suite even though its hot and muggy out?  Does he still need a sleigh even though there’s no snow down there?  Do you leave out milk and cookies or a bottle of Gatorade?  Does he go down the chimney or in through the air conditioner?

Could you imagine going to the beach on Christmas!

Inquiring minds want to know.

Random Thoughts: 12/14/2012

Man.  I haven’t done one of these posts in forever, mainly because they take so long to do.  Someone once told me she loved these posts and liked to see my opinion on all the different things in the news, so here goes:

• ESPN’s Rob Parker asked Thursday morning on First Take (a horrible show that features the idiotic Skip Bayless), “Is he a brother, or is he a cornball brother? He’s not really. He’s black, he does his thing, but he’s not really down with the cause. He’s not one of us. He’s kind of black, but he’s not really like the kind of guy you really want to hang out with,” about Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III.  
  First of all, why is race being brought into anything nowadays?  We’re supposed to be passed that.  Secondly, are you really questioning the color of somebody’s skin or the ethnicity of another human being based on the color and ethnicity of that person’s fiancée?  Thirdly, so what if he’s Republican?  There are plenty of black Republicans.  Being a Republican doesn’t automatically disqualify you from being black.  And finally, Mr. Parker, you are a fucking moron.  That is all.
  

  This is Robert Griffin III.  He sure looks black to me. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

   

   

• Oh, look!  Celebs over 40 in bikinis!
• Ever heard of brominated vegetable oil?  Me either.  Evidently it’s an ingredient found in many drinks, such as Gatorade, Mountain Dew, Powerade, and Squirt, among others.  It’s a type of vegetable oil so it must be fairly harmless, right?  Wrong.  According to this article, BVO is linked to “neurological disorders and altered thyroid hormones.”  Nice.  I don’t feel so bad about not letting my kids drink Mountain Dew and Gatorade for all this years.  It does, however, make me regret drinking Mountain Dew all those years while I was growing up.  Why is this substance approved by the FDA?
• Okay, guys, who’s ready to wear some meggings (male leggings)
  Anybody?  Buehler?I thought not.  Who the hell thought this was a good idea?
  

  Really? Aren’t skinny jeans bad enough?

• I had never heard of California Superior Court Judge Derek Johnson before, but this guy is a tool.  Apparently, the “honorable” Judge Johnson believes that, “if someone doesn’t want sexual intercourse, the body will not permit that to happen.”  Not only does this dolt believe this, but he actually uttered these words to a rape victim.  In court.  In front of her attacker.  He also admonished her for “not putting up a fight.”The California Commission on Judicial Performance voted 10-0 to impose a public admonishment Thursday.  I don’t know what all that entails besides publicly slapping the judge’s hand, but this dude needs to be relieved of his duties.  What a cock.
• Even though there is still roughly two and a half weeks left in the year, a list of this year’s most unusual baby names has already been compiled.  Among the gems are names such as #hashtag (really?), Queenie (everyone will just assume she’s a bitch), Inny (dafuq?), Excel (I guess the other Office program names were deemed unworthy), Jedi (look, I love Star Wars, but c’mon, why would you do this to a kid?),  Cobain (bad juju), Savior (isn’t that like naming a ship Titanic and dubbing it unsinkable?), Espn (that network sucks so what does that imply about how you feel about your son?),  Goodluck (wtf?), Google (I can’t even think of anything funny to say about this), and Popeye (well, blow me down).  Congratulations kids, your parents hate you all.
• Tip for farmers everywhere, if you’re going to plow your marriage proposal into a cornfield, please learn how to spell so that your 10-year old daughter doesn’t have to tell her dad that he’s an idiot.
  

  It’s Jodi, not Lodi. Good thing it’s the thought that counts, huh? Or is that only for presents?

   

• If Kristin Stewart wears a dress and nobody cares, did it really ever happen?
  

  What the hell is this? It looks like she’s wearing a clear plastic bag over a 1940′s era bikini.

• Over 8 million people in the New York City area breathed a collective sigh of relief upon hearing the news that Hillary Clinton will not seek the NYC mayor’s office.
• Evidently Olympic gold medalist skier Bode Miller is not destined to have a second career is a pro golfer.  Whilst golfing with his wife the other day, he hit her in the face with an errant tee shot that required over 50 stitches to close up.  Here’s a link to the picture if you really want to see it.  It’s pretty gruesome.  Needless to say, Bode will probably be able to have a cookout with the contents of his stocking on Christmas day.
• Who the hell is Honey Boo Boo?  And why should anyone care about her favorite Christmas memories?  And why on earth is some kid name Honey Boo Boo?
• NASA says “I told ya so,” in regards to why the world won’t end on the 21st.  What they don’t say is that a team led by Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck led a space expedition to the planet Nibiru, drilled a hole in it, and dropped a nuke in it.  The results could be seen last night as the remains of Nibiru entered our atmosphere under the guise of “meteor showers.”  Luckily, I saw through the conspiracy to bring you the truth.  You heard it here first.

And there you have it.  That’s all the randomness I can handle today.  My head is spinning and my stomach is yelling at me because I should’ve eaten lunch a couple of hours ago.  Hope you enjoyed it!

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