Merely hours after accepting two prestigious blogging awards, I have been awarded another shiny virtual trophy to place on my virtual mantle over my virtual fireplace. And this can only mean one thing…
Adonis DNA, bitches!
Pretty soon I’m going to have to get a curio cabinet to keep all of these things in.
Unlike any of the awards I have won before, it is my distinct honor to be the first recipient of a brand spankin’ new piece of cyber hardware that every blogger will want a piece of. I present to you…
The Unshitty Blog Award
Created by world-renowned blogger Beefybooyawn of Beefy’s House O’ Fun, this award is proof that not only is your blog good, but it is unshitty. That’s high praise indeed. I’d like to thank Beefy for recognizing my greatness and bestowing upon me the inaugural award. I’ll definitely print this off and put it on my mother’s refrigerator.
I accept this award with all the egomaniacal pride that I can muster. And that’s no small task.
Unfortunately, there is a shitty part of the Unshitty Award. Rules. Can’t we just have awards without rules? Honestly. When I got awards in school I didn’t get extra homework and asked to pick other students that were inferior to me to also receive the same award. But I digress.
The rules are as follows:
1. Thank or mention the person who gave it to you. This is only fair, since they did offer you this prestigious award.
2. Give an acceptance speech. It can be as short or long as you like, but it should probably be unshitty. Make it count.
3. Nominate some others. The number of people you should award it to is up to you. If you feel like nominating no other blogs for it, go for it.
4. Post the award on your blog somewhere. It doesn’t even have to be visible all the time. If you have some deep, dark corner of your blog where you put all of the shit you don’t want people to see, you can put it there. Just so long as it’s displayed.
5. That’s it. You can either save the award to your blog and host it there (preferred) or you can just link to it from here.
And now, I must nominate other blogs
that are inferior to mine to receive this award. The nominees are…
Congratulations, infidels. You have won an award, but it’s really just like getting an award for participation. You’re not really that good.