Thoughts from the Throne: Superbowl 46

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Football, Humor, New England Patriots, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Playoffs, Sports, Superbowl, Thoughts from the Throne

It’s quite fitting that my Superbowl 46 thoughts come from here because that was a shitty experience. 

I’ll address my predictions first.  It seems like I should have followed my head instead of my heart with the pick, as the Giants pulled out the win in the end.  The Pats let opportunities to win the game slip through their fingers throughout the game.  The most noticeable of which were three fumbles by the Giants that the Giants recovered.

Prediction number two was that the half-time show would suck.  Lo and behold, that came to fruition.  Aside from Madonna very obviously lip-syncing her otherwise terrible “music”, Nikki Minage and Cee Lo and some other chick I didn’t recognize contributed to the suck.  The show was overly elaborate, yet short on substance.  And good music.

As to my third prediction, the commercials, save for a couple, were pretty awful.  The Volkswagon one with Darth Vader was hilarious (and I’m not just saying that because it was Star Wars) and the Doritos commercials were pretty funny.  Oh, the CareerBuilder one was pretty good, too.  Otherwise, the commercials were a major letdown.  Again.

My saving grace tonight was good food and good people.  Friends and family came over to watch the game with us, and we all had a good time making fun of Chris Collinsworth who actually uttered the phrase, “His blind dad used to watch him.”  No, Chris, he didn’t.  He’s blind and can’t really watch much of anything.

Anyway, so the season is now officially over and I’ll have to suffer through the next six months seeing basketball, hockey, and baseball highlights.  Ugh.

What did you think of the Superbowl?

Superbowl Predictions

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Football, New England Patriots, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Playoffs, Sports, Superbowl

Well, I guess it’s finally time to dust off my Superbowl prediction.  I honestly don’t have a clue or any idea who is going to win.  Both teams are pretty evenly matched, although the Giants play better defense than the Pats.

When I look at it logically, it makes sense to me that the Giants will win.  The Giants have so many elite weapons with Ahmad Brashshaw, Brandon Jacobs, Victor Cruz, Mario Manningham, Hakeem Nicks, and Eli Manning.  The Giants offensive line is somewhat weak, but so is the entire Pats defense aside from Vince Wilfork.  The Giants pass the ball.  A lot.  The Patriots secondary is so thin that they’ve had Julian Edelman (a wide receiver) playing snaps at nickel back.  They’ve been able to make some plays when it counts, but overall they have been the weak link in the Patriots chain this season.

When looked at conversely, the Patriots offense is stacked, perhaps even more so than that of the Giants.  You’re talking first and foremost about Tom Brady.  Then there’s Wes Welker, Deion Branch, Aaron Hernandez, and Rob Gronkowski.  The offensive line is stout.  The Patriots dual tight-end threat has yet to be stopped this year.  Some teams are able to contain one or the other, but not both simultaneously.  If the Giants do somehow manage to neutralize both tight-ends, that leaves Wes Welker and Deion Branch on the outside to contend with.  The Patriots running game is mediocre at best, but Benjarvis Green and Danny Woodhead can, and have, occasionally bust out some big plays.  Finally, there’s the wild card everyone (in the media, anyhow) seems to be talking about:  Chad Ochocinco.  Why he is being talked about baffles me.  He’s had the worst year of his career in his first year with the Pats.  He had only 15 catches all year with one touchdown.  When he’s gotten opportunities, he’s dropped them.  Literally.  Yet many are speculating that Bill Belichick has a plan for Ocho Dinko this Superbowl Sunday.  I doubt it, but you never know with Bill.

As to what I foresee happening Sunday, I foresee a high-scoring game.  I believe both teams will score over 25 points.  I believe we’ll see a pass-happy game and some clutch performances by the unlikeliest of players.  I foresee that the half-time show will suck (as it always does).  I foresee another year of Superbowl commercial letdowns, with the exception of two or three.  I also foresee (gulp) a Patriots win.  Again, like I prefaced this post by saying, logically (or on paper, if you will) the Giants should win.  But the more I think about it I get the feeling that the Pats will come away with it.  Brady is more determined than ever to win another title and his attitude is infectious.  Additionally, the entire team is motivated to win this one for their owner, Robert Kraft, whose wife Mara died shortly before the season.  They want to honor her memory by bringing home a fourth Lombardi trophy.   For some unfathomable reason, I think they will,  somehow, some way.

So there you are folks.  Whether or not my Superbowl winning prediction comes true, I stand by the other two.  The commercials and the half-time show WILL suck.

Random NFL Thoughts: Conference Championship Weekend

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ahmad bradshaw, Baltimore Ravens, Football, New England Patriots, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Playoffs, San Francisco 49ers, Sports, Superbowl, tom coughlin

Wow!  What a couple of great games we got to see yesterday!  The games didn’t go quite the way I envisioned them, but I still made good on both of my picks and we now await a Superbowl 42 rematch between the Patriots and Giants.

• It’s amazing that just a year or so ago that many media pundits had Tom Coughlin on the hot-seat.  He has the Giants heading to their fifth Superbowl and second during his tenure as the Giants head coach.
• Tom Brady’s leap over the line-of-scrimmage for the go-ahead touchdown proves how hungry he is to win another Superbowl.
• The Patriots have a lot of work to do on the defensive side of the ball if they’re to win they’re fourth Superbowl.  The Ravens moved the ball at will yesterday and the Giants offense is exponentially more potent.
• The Giants are lucky to be Superbowl bound.  If not for two inexcusable turnovers by the Niner’s back-up punt returner yesterday, they would be watching the Superbowl from home.
• The Niner’s defense was just sick yesterday.  The suffocated the Giants offense yesterday.  The Giants had only one good drive and moved the ball sporadically in the first half, but could not do anything in the second half.  Manning was sacked 6 times and hit quite a bit more.  Their running game was nonexistent.
• That Patriots are lucky to be in the Superbowl, as well.  If that Lee Evans non-touchdown catch would have been reviewed it could have been ruled a touchdown.  The ball being smacked out of his hands and his second foot coming down seemed to happen simultaneously.  The NFL has since said that the play was called correctly, but it should have been reviewed.
• The Niners think they were hosed on the Ahmad Bradshaw non-fumble call.  As I was rooting for the Giants to preserve a perfect prognostication record for this weekend, I really didn’t care.  The refs actually called the play correctly, but this rule needs to be changed.  Forward progress should be granted for when a tackle is initiated, but forward progress shouldn’t stop a play if the ball-carrier is still fighting for yards, whether he’s moving forward or not.  Bradshaw was still fighting for yards and, ideally, that should be a fumble.
• Brian Schottenheimer has been hired as the offensive coordinator for the Rams, and he’ll presumably take his inept offense with him.  At least he has a chance to prove that it was Mark Sanchez that sucked and not him.
• Congratulations to Joe Philbin, former offensive coordinator of the Packers, on being hired as the new head coach of the Dolphins.
• Tampa Bay, Oakland, and Indianapolis are still looking.  Tampa Bay came close to signing Chip Kelly last night, but he backed out.  There are rumors the Colts are looking at Jim Tressel.  Interesting.
• In an interview right after yesterday’s loss, Ray Lewis vowed to be back next year.  Ugh.  Retire already, man.  I’m tired of listening to you talk.
• Eli Manning has a chance to one-up his older brother in his older brother’s house.  He has a damn good shot at doing it, too.
• The playoff overtime are idiotic.  Go back to sudden death or use the collegiate rules, but the current rules are complicated and take Ed Hochuli way too long to explain.

Conference Championship weekend picks

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Baltimore Ravens, Football, New England Patriots, New York Giants, NFL, San Francisco 49ers, Sports

We have finally arrived at the Conference Championship weekend.  Four teams will slug it out this Sunday for the right to play in the Superbowl.  Both games promise to be extremely hard-fought, entertaining games.

Baltimore Ravens vs New England Patriots:  This game pits one of the league’s best offenses in the game against one of the league’s best defenses.  The Ravens will have their hands full trying to cover Aaron Hernandez, Rob Gronkowski, Wes Welker, and Deion Branch.  And even if they do somehow manage to accomplish to cover all four on a given play there’s still Julian Edelman and Ocho Dinko to think about.

The Pats defense hasn’t been great this year, but they’ve been getting better in recent weeks while the Ravens offense has been getting increasingly stagnant.  When people on the defense (Ed Reed) start calling out their quarterback (Joe “worst looking fu manchu ever” Flacco) then you know you’ve got problems.

I still think this will be a close game, but I don’t think the Ravens have what it takes.  Tom Brady is more determined now than he was before he’d ever won a Superbowl and I think he’ll get another shot.  Pats win.

New York Giants vs San Francisco 49ers: This game is going to be a slugfest.  These are both physical teams.  These two teams played during the regular season in San Francisco with the Niners winning 27-20.  The Giants, however, are playing at a much higher level than they were at that time.  Their defense specifically.  Eli Manning and his group of his receivers have been playing some great ball.

Alex Smith and the Niners played a hell of a game last week, but it was against a fairly weak defensive team.  The Giants are probably the most balanced team left in contention as far as all three phases of the game.  I just don’t see the Niners making much hay against the Giants defense.  The Giants offense will have its hands full with the Niners excellent defense, but in the end they’ll be able to score enough to win.  Giants win.

Behold!  I predict a Superbowl rematch between the Patriots and Giants.

Random NFL Thoughts: Divisional Round

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Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, Football, Green Bay Packers, Kansas City Chiefs, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Playoffs, San Francisco 49ers, Sports

Well, I went 3-1 again this weekend.  Going into Sunday night’s game I thought I would go 4-0.  I still don’t think the Packers have showed up for that game.

• First and foremost, my condolences go out to Joe Philbin and his family.  If you have not yet heard, the son of Packers offensive coordinator Joe Philbin was found dead last week.  I cannot possibly fathom what he must be going through currently.
• The Saints/Niners game was epic.  Four lead changes in the last 4 minutes?  That’s great football.  Personally, I didn’t think the Niners would be able to put another game winning drive together after doing it once already, but “The Catch III” has made this game an instant classic.
• Alex Smith finally looked like the first-round pick that he was.  Of course, with the Saints blitzing every play and leaving all of the Niners’ receivers in one-on-one coverage didn’t help their cause either.
• As expected, the Patriots throttled the Broncos.  Teebow looked awful as did the Broncos defense.
• Brady added another passing record to his resume: 5 TD’s in one half of a playoff game.  He threw 6 total, tying a post-season record.  Rob Gronkowski caught three of the touchdowns begging the question:  Is anyone ever going to try to cover this guy?
• The Ravens/Texans game was a defensive slugging match, as I thought it would be.  The Ravens defense forced rookie QB TJ Yates into throwing 3 picks, which ultimately cost the Texans the game.  Arian Foster churned out 132 yards on the ground, but that wasn’t enough to overcome the turnovers, the most costly of which was Jacoby Jones muffing a punt he shouldn’t have even tried to field.  The Ravens recovered in the red-zone.
• The Giants/Packers game was just embarrassing for the Packers.  Their offense looked the worst at has all season, and neither I, not anyone else, saw that coming.  I figured to see a shoot-out, not a blow-out.  Perhaps the death of Joe Philbin’s son was more of a distraction than they could handle.
• Jeff Fisher is now the head coach of the St. Louis Rams.  Fisher will have plenty to work with on offense, but will need a complete overhaul on the defensive side of the ball.
• Greg Williams has reportedly accepted the defensive coordinator position, which I find to be a questionable move.  William’s blitz-happy defense in New Orleans hasn’t been all that productive the last couple of years.
• It looks like either Hue Jackson or Brian Schottenheimer will be Fisher’s offensive coordinator.  This should be a no-brainer.  Schottenheimer’s offense in New York the last couple of years has been horrid.  Go with Hue.
• Mike Zimmer is in contention for a couple of head coaching jobs:  Miami and Tampa Bay.  While I’d hate to see him go, he deserves a shot.  Ideally (in my world, anyway) he’d get the head coaching job in Cincinnati after Marvin is relieved of his duties.
• Per this article, the Chiefs are electronically spying on their employees.  I really don’t know what purpose this serves if true.

 

Divisional Round Predictions

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Baltimore Ravens, Denver Broncos, Football, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Playoffs, San Francisco 49ers

Last week’s picks went so well that I thought I’d try this prognostication thing again.  I went 3-1 last week, and really, who didn’t pick the Steelers to beat the Broncos?  Even the Broncos were surprised they won.

Denver Broncos vs New England Patriots:  This is the game that everyone is talking about.  Why? Well, because of Tim Tebow.  Why is everyone talking about Tim Tebow?  I have no frickin’ clue.  He’s a mediocre quarterback who happens to be a phenomenal leader.  Every win the Broncos have had this season has been a team win, but to hear the media tell it Tebow’s doing it all by himself.  Maybe he’ll walk on water at halftime.

Anyhow, as to the game, I’m going with New England in this one.  These two teams played in the regular season with New England beating the Broncos pretty soundly.  And that was in Denver.  This time they will be playing in Foxboro.  The Broncos will still be without Brian Dawkins (and their long snapper for some reason), and their defense just hasn’t been the same since he’s been out of the line up.  I see the Pats putting up a 40-burger on the Broncos in what will be the biggest blow-out this weekend.

Houston Texans vs Baltimore Ravens:  This is going to be an ugly game.  Two pretty exceptional defenses against a couple of average offenses.  If the Texans had Matt Schaub in the lineup I would definitely be going with the Texans here, but they don’t so I won’t.

The Baltimore defense will force rookie TJ Yates into making some rookie mistakes while holding the Texans’ premier running attack in check.  The Baltimore offense will score just enough to win.  Anquan Boldin will be back and that should help boost a Ravens offense that has been lacking some punch lately.  Ravens win a low scoring game.

New York Giants vs Green Bay Packers: While the NE/Denver game gets all the attention, this is the game I think will be the most exciting to watch this weekend.  I expect a shoot out again between these two teams.  And though I like the Giants’ confidence going into this game, you just can’t stop the Packers at home.  Green Bay wins.

New Orleans Saints vs San Francisco 49ers:  The Saints are favored to win this game, and it’s not hard to understand why.  They arguably have the most potent offense in the league.  They have a vicious three-back rotation featuring very productive backs.  The passing game features Drew Brees, Jimmy Graham, Marques Colston, Lance Moore (who may not play), Devery Henderson, and Robert Meacham.  Plus Darren Sproles coming out of the backfield.  There are a ton of weapons on the Saints offense.  The 49ers, however, have a good enough defense to stop them.  Or at least contain them.  The Saints offense scores about 13 fewer points a game on grass than on turf, and they will be playing in the Niners backyard.  The Niners offense isn’t explosive, but they can put some points on the board.  And they can control the clock.

Having said all of that, I think the………..Niners will win.  I’m going with the upset here.  I think the fans will be loud enough to distract the Saints offense.  The Saints don’t really have much of a defense.  They put 11 guys out there every play, but they play like there’s only 5 out there.  The Niners will win the time of possession and keep Brees sitting on the bench most of the game.

That’s what I see while gazing into the crystal ball.  What do you see?

Random Week 14 Thoughts

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Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Washington Redskins

Sorry I’m late with this, in case anyone cares enough to read this.  I’ve actually been busy this week, so I haven’t gotten around to it.  Let’s get it started.

• The Browns and Steelers played an ugly, ugly game Thursday.  The only highlights were the injuries both quarterbacks sustained.  Big Ben had has ankle rolled (Grade 1 sprain) and Colt McCoy got knocked the fuck out by James Harrison.
• Harrison was suspended 1 game for his helmet-to-helmet hit on McCoy, and has been crying about it.  Look, James, McCoy threw the ball and took two steps before you slammed your helmet directly into his facemask.  Quit crying and accept your punishment.
• Shame on the Browns for putting McCoy back in two plays later.  He was obviously concussed and dizzy and should not have been on the field.  Idiots.
• The Pats win a surprising shoot out with the Redskins.  Rob Gronkowski broke the record for receiving touchdowns in a season for a Tight End.  He now has 15 for the year.
• The Saints made it interesting against the Titans, only winning 22-17.  That was with the Titans losing Matt Hasselbeck to injury early in the game.  Jake Locker lead the Titans to some scoring drives, but also completed less than 50% of his passes.  Chris Johnson returned to mediocrity rushing for only 23 yards on 11 carries.  The Saints defense it NOT that good.  Shame.
• The Dolphins lost Matt Moore and their game against the Eagles.  Then they lost their coach.  Tony Sporano was fired after the Dolphins 9th loss of the season.
• Though the Eagles won, it was more because the Dolphins sucked than because the Eagles played well.  Andy Reid is now on the hot seat, and there are talks that he may be fired after the season.
• It looked like the Panthers were going to beat the Falcons.  They went into halftime up 23-7, then gave up 24 second-half points while scoring none of their own.  Ron Rivera is reportedly pissed about the new ways his team finds to lose every week.  I would be, too.  They’ve blown leads in all but one of their losses this season.  I have two words of advice for Rivera for the offseason:  draft defense!
• The Bucs made the Jags look like the class of the AFC, losing 41-14 to the beleaguered franchise.  The Bucs turned the ball over an unprecidented seven times (4 fumbles, 3 INT’s) to the Jaguars, who actually turned those into points.  I don’t see Raheem Morris returning as coach next year.  He’s totally lost this team.
• Congratulations to the Texans, who clinched their first playoff berth ever by beating the ever eager-to-lose Bengals in Cincinnati.  Seriously, how shameful is it to let a 5th round rookie lead a last-minute drive to win the game without their top receiver?  Shame.
• The Lions almost blew a huge lead against the Vikings, who were led by Joe Webb after Christian Ponder was injured.
• The Jets stomped all over the Chiefs, who fired coach Todd Haley.  Haley then later said he wanted to resign last week.  You can’t fire me!!  I quit!! Nice.
• The new Baltimore team creamed the old Baltimore team.  Why the Colts even deny they’re in full Suck-for-Luck mode is beyond me.  This team needs more than a quarterback anyhow.  They need a good running back and a decent defense.
• I think it was Peter King that said Peyton Manning should be this years MVP.  His case is that the exact same team this year (without Peyton, of course) hasn’t won a game while last year’s team with Peyton won 10 games.  I’d agree with him, except for the fact that the MVP has to, you know, play.
• After Tebow pulled off another “miracle” comeback against the Bears, a bitter Brian Urlacher was quoted as saying that Tebow is “a good running back.”  Really, Brian?  Tebow had only completed 3 passes through the first 3 quarters, which is horrible, but then he completed 18 in the 4th quarter for roughly 190 yards and 10 points to send the game into overtime.   Don’t be a bitch, man.  Love him or hate him, you can’t deny his results.
• The biggest upset last week, to me anyway, was the Cardinals beating the Niners, 22-19.  Alex Smith had an off day, though he was able to get his offense into the red-zone 3 times.  The Niners kicked field goals each time.
• The Cardinals lost Kevin Kolb only a handful of minutes into the game.  John Skelton came in and led the Cards to victory.  In the four games he’s played in this year, they’ve won three of them.  Hmmmmmmm……
• Remember earlier this year when the Bills were everybody’s darling and they were racking up 30 points a game and beating teams like the Patriots?  Yeah, me neither.  They lost their 6th straight game after starting the year 5-2, getting pounded by the Chargers and their suddenly resurgent offense, 37-10.
• Carson Palmer threw 4 more picks as the Packers literally tore the Raiders apart.  Palmer has thrown 13 picks in the 7 games he’s played so far.  If you take away the 3 he threw against the Chiefs three days after his trade and only count the games he’s played since he said he’s got the playbook down cold, he’s thrown 10 in 6 games.  I wonder if Hue Jackson still thinks this was the best trade in the NFL?
• The Cowboys/Giants game was pretty epic.  Eli Manning leads the Giants to another come-from-behind victory.  The Cowboys kicker got iced again, but at least this time it was by the opposing team’s coach.
• The Seahawks made short work of the Rams, who may also be looking for a coach after the season.  The coolest thing in this game were the fans “making it skittle” on Marshawn Lynch after he scored a touchdown.

 

Random Week 13 Thoughts

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Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Washington Redskins

• There was a game Thursday between the Eagles and Seahawks, but only the Seahawks showed up.  Dream Team indeed.  Marshawn Lynch was in Skittle-fueled beast- mode and torched the Eagles “defense.”
• Chris Johnson looks to be back to his old self.  He and the Titans beat the suddenly terrible Bills to keep their very slim playoff hopes alive.
• Ryan Fitzpatrick has sucked since signing his contract extension.  Coincidence?
• The Chiefs and Bears played a game Sunday.  If Matt Forte hadn’t gotten hurt in the game I would deny that it ever happened.  I haven’t seen such inept football since….well, ever.  The only touchdown in this game was a hail-mary Dexter McCluster caught after Brian Urlacher batted it down.  Exciting stuph.
• The Texans somehow managed to beat a very good Falcons team.  Down to their third-string quarterback, TJ Yates, the Texans relied on Andre Johnson, Arian Foster, and a suffocating defense to win this game.  Andre Johnson, who had just missed 6 games with an injured right hamstring, caught 4 passes for 97 yards before injuring his left hamstring.  The Texans must be cursed.
• The Oakland Raiders were absolutely embarrassed and dismantled by the suddenly resurgent Miami Dolphins.  Miami scored all 34 points before the Raiders put up 14 in garbage-time to save some face.  There was even a TJ Housnmandzadeh sighting, but no one cared.  I really don’t know what to make of either team, here.  The Raiders have a different team show up each week and are extremely inconsistent.  The Dolphins lost their first 7 games before finding a metaphorical can of spinach, and going all Popeye the Sailor on every team but the Cowboys since.  The best they can finish now is 8-8, but that may be enough to save Coach Sparano’s job.
• The broken record keeps spinning as Tim Tebow does it again.  This time it wasn’t the Broncos defense, as they surrendered 32 points.  They did score a defensive touchdown, though.  Tebow, Willis McGahee, and Damyrius Thomas did the rest, putting the other 28 points on the board as the Broncos cruise to another win secured with a last-second score.  It’s like the Broncos are stuck on repeat every week.
• New England, as expected, went up 31-3 on the Colts.  Then something expected happened:  the Colts started playing football.  Dan Orlovsky led the Colts to within a touchdown of tying the game.  Weird.
• Watching the Bengals/Steelers game was similar to watching Chuck Norris kick a retarded kid’s ass.  I would, however, like to point out that even though the Bengals played horribly and deserved to lose, the Steelers also had the refs in their pockets on this one.  A phantom pass-interference call put the Steelers in the red-zone on one scoring drive.  Two block-in-the-back penalties were not called on the punt return touchdown and on Mike Wallace’s second touchdown.  Lastly, there was a phantom face-mask penalty on Reggie Nelson that replays showed he never touched Hines Wards mask.  That penalty also put the Steelers in the red-zone.  I know the Steelers are the most popular team in the league, but come on.  Let’s be real here.  You can’t just ignore this crap.  Even Phil Simms made a comment about the penalties the Steelers got away with.
• Andy Dalton has been good, but Cam Newton has to be the Rookie-of-the-Year.  He rushed for 3 touchdowns and now owns the record for most rushing touchdowns in a season by a quarterback.  He currently has 13.  The Panthers again attacked with the run first, and, again, they won.  I love being right.
• Oh, Raheem Morris will be looking for a new job after this season.  The Bucs suck.
• The Jets won, but it was against the Redskins so no one cared.
• Ray Rice (from Rutgers!) ran for over 200 yards as the old Browns steam-rolled the new Browns.  I seriously feel bad for Browns fans.  They deserve better.
• Here’s news where the joke is already inserted.  The Cowboys iced their own kicker before the game-winning field goal attempt.  They made the first one right after Jason Garrett called a time-out.  He missed the second.  You can’t make this stuph up.  The Cardinals won in over-time when Lerod Stephens-Howling took a screen pass to the house.  I love watching the Cowboys lose.
• As I boldly, or not so boldly, predicted, the Giants gave the Packers a run for their money, but the Pack ultimately prevailed on a last-second field goal.   Their remaining games are against the Raiders, Chiefs, Bears, and Lions.  They will own the Raiders.  I thought the Chiefs game might be tough since it’s at Arrowhead, but with Tyler Palko not quarterbacking for the Chiefs it won’t even be a contest.  The Bears with Caleb Hanie at the helm (and Matt Forte injured) will pose no problem.  The Lions have imploded on themselves.  The Packers will cruise through the playoffs again and win the Superbowl.  Write it down now:  19-0.
• The Niners spanked the Rams 26-0.  This game isn’t really even worth mentioning.
• The Lions had over 100 yards in penalties against the Saints.  The Lions offense put up over 400 yards, but couldn’t score because of all the idiotic penalties they committed, including 3 personal fouls.  Jim Schwartz needs to teach some discipline these guys somehow.
• The Chargers snapped their 6-game losing streak against the recently sold Jaguars.  They piled it on the hapless Jaguars, 38-14.  The Jags are just terrible.

 

Week 12 Random Thoughts

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Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Washington Redskins

It’s that time again.  Time for my incoherent ramblings on all things NFL.  Here we go!

• For the first time in a long time, meaningful games were played on Thanksgiving.  The Lions and Packers kicked things off at 12:30, then the Packers kicked the Lions off.  Ndamukong Suh decided to kick back, going all Albert Haynesworth on Packers guard Evan Dietrich-Smith.  Suh was ejected from the game, thus being spared further embarrassment at the hands of the Packers, who stomped the Lions 27-15.  Yes, I still think the Packers go 19-0.
• Speaking of Suh, he should, and probably will be, suspended.  He is out of control. EDIT: As I was writing this, it was announced that Suh will be suspended two games.
• The Cowboys and Dolphins played a pretty good game.  The Cowboys won on a last second field goal to win 20-19.  At 7-4, the Cowboys are surprisingly leading the NFC East.
• The Dolphins plans to win out have been derailed.  The best they can do now is 8-8, but I don’t see that happening either.
• Thanksgiving night featured “Har-bowl 1″.  The 49ers, coached by Jim Harbaugh, squared off against the Ravens, coached by John Harbaugh.  The Ravens brutally dismembered the Niners’ offense, sacking Alex Smith a club-record 9 times.  They win 16-6.  The Ravens are now currently in the driver’s seat of the AFC North.  The Niners can clinch a playoff spot with a win this week.
• Not much to say about the Vikings/Falcons game.  The Falcons owned them.  Matt Ryan threw three more TD’s as the Falcons continue to roll.
• The Bengals/Browns game was much closer than it should have been, as the Bengals are a much better team.  The Browns played well, though.  Jerome Simpson did some great acting.  Andy Dalton notches another fourth quarter comeback under his belt.
• Ron Rivera finally emphasized the run game against the Colts this past weekend.  For probably the first time this season (I’m not going to look it up), I think they ran more than passed and (surprise, surprise) Cam Newton was efficient AND turnover free.  Newton, Williams, and Stewart all had good days rushing the rock for the Panthers and things are so bad in Indy that they’re turning the ball over to Dan Orlovsky this week and have fired their defensive coordinator.  Ouch.
• Playing quarterback for the Texans seems to be a risky proposition lately.  Last week Matt Schaub was lost for the season.  This week Matt Leinart was lost for the season.  TJ Yates (who!?!?) is now the starter for the Texans.  Things are so bad that they’re pondering calling Favre, they have worked out Jeff Garcia and Jake Delhomo, and have signed Kellen Clemens.  Luckily, the rest of their division sucks.  They will ride on their explosive running game and solid defense.  Good luck, guys.
• The Jaguars are FUBAR.  They fired Jack Del Rio this morning and Wayne Weaver announced his selling the team.  Wow.  Los Angeles Jaguars?
• The Bills/Jets game was all kinds of fun.  The Jets win on a fourth quarter come-back engineered by (gasp!) Mark Sanchez.  Steve Johnson scored a touchdown and made fun of Plaxico Burress AND Santonio Holmes by pantomiming Burress shooting himself in the leg and imitating Holmes’ TD celebration where he puts his arms out like wings and “flies”.  Johnson later dropped a possible touchdown catch which was eventually the difference in the game.  Karma’s a bitch, huh?
• Steve Johnson has been widely criticized around the league for making fun of Plax shooting himself.  He’s been referred to as classless and one Jet player accused him of being insensitive to 9/11 victims for doing Holmes’ “Jet” celebration.  Get over it, people.  First and foremost, anyone who shoots himself, accidentally or purposefully, deserve any criticism heaped upon him.  Secondly, NFL players mock other NFL players’ TD celebrations all the time.  Calm down, idiots.
• This week’s Toilet Bowl featured the Cardinals and Rams.  The Cardinals won the “thrilling” contest, 23-20.  Steve Spagnulo is expected to be fired after the season.  Poor St. Louis fans.
• Chris Johnson showed up for his second game this year.  He ran for 190 yards on the stout (cough, gag, chuckle) Buccaneer defense.  Maybe he’ll keep it up, but I doubt it.
• If there is a team underachieving more than the Bucs this year, I don’t know what team that is.
• The Caleb Hanie era started for Chicago as the Bears took on the Raiders.  Hanie…sucked.  He threw for 254 yards and 2 TD’s, but threw three picks as well.  The Bears defense gave up quite a few yards, but only allowed the Raiders to score one touchdown.  Ultimately, the Raiders won 25-20.
• The Redskins and Seahawks played a game Sunday, but I don’t think anyone cared.  Rex Grossman threw for 314 and 2 TD’s, but threw another 2 picks.  The Redskins win, for whatever that’s worth.
• The Pats rolled all over the “Dream Team”.  Chants of “Fire Andy” could be heard throughout the game from the Philly faithful.  Julian Edelman went all Troy Brown against the Eagles, even getting a sack on Vince Young.  He actually did a pretty damn good job on defense.  He should think about switching since the Pats offense is so loaded.
• At last, we have the Broncos/Chargers game.  Tim Tebow and the Broncos somehow pull out another ugly game.  The funniest thing is near the end of regulation, the Chargers had a chance for a winning field goal.  Right before the snap, John Fox called a timeout and the kick was blocked.  I’m sure everyone thought, as did I, that would come back to haunt him.  Nope, the Chargers shanked the next attempt.  Tebow leads the Broncos into field-goal range with only a couple of minutes left in overtime.  Broncos win.  Tebow is now 5-1 as a starter this year.  Who’d have thunk it?
• The Steelers looked horrible against the Chiefs Sunday night, and barely pulled out at 13-9 win.  But for Tyler Palko throwing three picks, and Dwayne Bowe going all Randy Moss on the Chiefs last offensive play, the Chiefs might have (and should have) won.
• Was there even any doubt that the Giants would get pummeled by the Saints this week?  The Giants have been playing horribly of late, and the Saints are running like a well-oiled machine.  The Saints beat them down like Ike beat Tina.  It was like watching a train wreck.

Random Week 11 thoughts…

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Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Carson Palmer, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Washington Redskins

The following thoughts are fraught with keen insight, sophomoric attempts at humor, and grammatical errors:

• Tim Tebow worked his magic again Thursday night.  After 55 minutes of looking like the worst quarterback in the league, he then authored a 95-yard game-winning drive against the inconsistent Jets.  Both teams are now 5-5 and heading in opposite directions.
• Jake Plummer was asked by Denver media what he thinks of Tim Tebow.  His opinion is that he likes the unconventional way with which Tebow is winning games, but is fed up with the words “Jesus Christ” coming out of Tebow’s mouth.  I have two thoughts about Plummer’s, um, thoughts.  One, who the hell cares what you think?  Two, you’re right.  I don’t have a problem with Tebow’s faith, but the inordinate amount of time he speaks about it wears on me and makes me not really care what he has to say.  He sounds like a broken freakin’ record.
• Cincinnati and Baltimore played an extremely exciting game Sunday, in which the officials played a part in two crucial plays in the game.  The first was the reversal of Jermaine Gresham’s touchdown catch.  The reversal was wrong.  Gresham caught the ball, got two feet inbounds, and crossed the goal-line.  Anything that happens after that doesn’t matter.  The second play was on a fumble that hit the ref, making the ball bounce the other way toward a Raven’s defender instead of a the two Bengals that were there ready to recover it.  I know the ref is considered part of the field, but when the ref is 70 he just isn’t quick enough (or fast enough) to keep up with this game.  Get younger refs.
• Maurice Jones-Drew’s imitation of Lebron after he scored on the Browns was hilarious.
• The Browns win an ugly, ugly game against the Jags.  Both of these teams are just horrible on offense and painful to watch.  On the bright side for the Browns, Chris Ogmonnaya recorded 100 rushing yards and looks better than Peyton Hillis or Montario Hardesty have looked all year.  So there’s that.
• After throwing four picks last week, Matt Stafford started out with two more against the Panthers before eating a can of Popeye’s spinach and busting out 5 touchdown passes on the suspect Panther’s defense.  Looks like he finally figured out he to throw with that broken index finger.
• Tony Scheffler should score all the time (ha, ha).  He did the “flash mob” dance after scoring this week.  Nice.
• After being a huge disappointment after being drafted by the Lions a few years ago, Kevin Smith whipped out 200 all-purpose yards on the Panthers.  Now, I know it’s against the Panthers, but Kevin Smith had never done that before and the Lions desperately need a running game if they want to win some playoff games.
• Cam Newton has put up plenty of impressive numbers this year, but unfortunately he’s also put up a bigger number that’s not so impressive.  Interceptions.  Like the 4 he threw against a mostly inept Lions defense.  Watching the way Cam plays it’s sometimes hard to remember that he’s a rookie, but he’s making some pretty costly mistakes.  Once he gets that under control….look out.
• Newton also scored his 9th rushing touchdown of the year Sunday, which is a record for a rookie quarterback.  Impressive.  Most impressive.
• Lagarrett Blount’s epic 54-yard run against the Packers was reminiscent of Marshawn Lynch’s epic run against the Saints in last year’s Wild Card playoff game.  If you haven’t seen it, kindly click here and enjoy.
• The Bucs gave the Packers all they could handle, but the Packers still won and still look invincible.  I stand by my 19-0 prediction for this team.
• Buffalo and Miami played Sunday and they’ve been at opposite ends of the spectrum all year.  The Dolphins started out the year looking like the worst team in the league and the Bills started out looking like one of the best.  Now its the other way around.  Matt Moore and Reggie Bush have looked like Pro-Bowl caliber players the last three weeks and I can’t explain it.
• I also can’t explain why the Bills suddenly suck.  They have lost no one to injury, and there’s been no coaching changes, yet they’ve been blown out the last three weeks.  I don’t get it.
• The Vikings lost Adrian Peterson for a while with a high ankle sprain.  Doesn’t really affect their season since they suck this year anyhow.
• Carson Palmer has been extremely efficient since the Raiders lost to the Broncos two weeks ago.  He’s not throwing many incompletions and the Raiders are pounding the ball on the ground and winning games.  Perhaps Hue Jackson knows what he’s doing afterall….we’ll see.
• Christian Ponder is having his ups and downs during his rookie season.  He looks good one minute, then throws three picks while losing to the Raiders.  I think he’ll eventually be a good quarterback once the Vikings have some decent receivers for him to throw the ball to.
• The Cowboys did their best to make the Redskins look good, but ultimately failed.  They win in overtime.
• Deangelo Hall said after the game that the Redskins should cut him because of his inability to cover Dez Bryant.  The sad thing is, he’s one of the best players on the team…and he sucks.
• Not much needs to be said about the 49ers/Cardinals game.  The Cardinals were destroyed by the Niners, who rolled on to 9-1 for the year.
• In a “who’s dumber?” contest, Cardinals’ Early Doucet and Niners’ Dashon Goldson scuffled and threw punches…at each other’s facemasks.  Really?  How stupid are you two?
• This week’s Toilet Bowl pitted a bad Seattle Seahawks team against an even worse St.Louis Rams team  The Seahawks win.  Nothing really special happened here.
• The Falcons and Titans played a close one.  Matt Hasselbeck went down and rookie Jake Locker came in and led the Titans on two scoring drives to make the game close.  No word yet on how long Matt will be out.  Chris Johnson also went back to sucking this week, running 12 times for 13 yards.  The Titans have to be ecstatic that they signed him to a big-money contract.
• Meanwhile the Falcons continue to roll.  Their offense is still firing on all cylinders.  I bet the Chargers are wishing they had kept Michael Turner, who added another 100-yard game to his resume.
• Jay Cutler was impressive again in the Bears win over the Chargers, however it will likely be his last game of the regular season.  Cutler has a broken thumb on his throwing hand and is out 6-8 weeks.  The job now falls to Caleb Hanie, who will likely hand the ball off to Matt Forte.  A lot.
• The Chargers are now 4-6, and I still see no late season surge from them.  Rivers is making too many mistakes.  Hell, he had a pass intercepted yesterday on a ball he was trying to throw away.  It’s that bad.
• The Eagles beat the Giants 17-10, and many people were praising the efforts a Vince Young and I’ve even heard a prediction that the Eagle will run the table and make the playoffs.  Look, beating the Giants was huge and they are a good team, but watch the game.  Young threw three picks and the Eagles didn’t play well, the Giants just played worse.  Eli turned the ball over twice and the Giants only managed 29 yards on the ground.  What a miserable performance by the G-Men.
• The Pats mopped the floor with the Chiefs last night in Foxboro.  Without Matt Cassell, the Chiefs looked shakier than normal, even though their defense held the Patriots to only 10 points in the first half.  The Pats exploded in the second.  The Pats tight-end duo of Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski is virtually unstoppable.  You can’t cover them in addition to Deion Branch and Wes Welker.  If the Pats don’t fix their defense, however, they won’t go too deep into the playoffs.
• Rex Ryan was fined $75,000 for cussing at a fan last week.  When asked about the fine, Ryan said, “I don’t want to be a black eye on the league.”  It’s a little too late for that.

That’ wraps up my random, incoherent thoughts for Week 11 in the NFL.  So long!