Broken Clothes

Tags

baby, blog, blogging, Children, Clothing, Humor, humour, Kids, Life, Nerf, Parenting, Stupidity

It’s time for a story.  A very special story.  One of those stories where one of your kids says something so incredibly stupid that everyone will laugh at it no matter their race, religion, creed, state of lucidity, or sexual orientation.

Last night I had a couple of guests over to my new place.  Specifically, the guests were Revis, his wonderful wife, Baby E, a friend, and her child.  We had some pizza and talked while the kids played and generally shook the entire place playing with Nerf guns and whatever the hell else they were doing up there.

Top 10 Magic Eraser Moments

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blog, blogging, blunt life coach, David Letterman, friendship, Humor, humour, INSPIRATION, Life, POST IDEAS, postaday, random, Star Wars, Stupidity, Trousers, Twindaddy, Wal-Mart, WRITING PROMPTS

Day 6.  I’m losing control of my faculties.  Light continues to fade.  It keeps growing darker in this hole.  I’m losing hope.  No one will ever find me in here.

Oh, wrong day 6.  It’s actually my sixth consecutive day of participating in the Daily Prompt. We are in uncharted territory here.  The final frontier.  We’ve gone we no man, no one, has gone before.

By now you’ve surely deduced that my coffee is in full effect.  I’m rambling already and we haven’t even gotten to today’s prompt.  How fun is this going to be?

And really, stop calling me Shirley.

Ready, set, go!  Prompt me!

You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as though it never happened. What would you erase and why?

Tickled Pink No More

Tags

blog, blogging, Life, Ranting, Stupidity, work

Hi.  I first wanted to thank the people who commented on my previous post.  I’m not used to exposing myself on that level.  Eric suggested that maybe future posts may occur now that I’ve released that event.  I have many memories as well as a shortish longish story called “The Day You Came Back” and I’m tossing up/down whether to post…decisions…

Moving Fails

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blog, blogging, Business, Clothes dryer, dryer vent hose, Friday, Humor, humour, Laundry, Laundry detergent, Life, Revis, Stupidity, Wal-Mart, Walmart

[Update:  I just realized that this is my 700th post.  Yay?]

Greetings, Stuph Maphia™, I’m blogging from my new home at the convenience of my much-missed 24″ monitor.  Oh how I missed thee.

Anyhow, Operation: Move My Shit From Two Different Places Into One Single Place has been completed.  There were many bumps in the road however.

It’s the Little Things

Tags

Automobile, lazy, lazy people, Parking, ramblings and rantings, Ranting, Sport utility vehicle, Stupid People, Stupidity

Let me preface this post by saying this:  One of my pet peeves is people who sit in the middle of the parking lot waiting in their car while someone unloads their cart full of merchandise so that they can have said person’s parking spot.  Those idiots clog up the parking lot while waiting and cause unnecessary bottlenecks and all I want to do is park and go inside.  All that just to get a spot that might be 50ft closer than a spot that’s already open.  Lazy fuckers.  Get some exercise.

Best Meal Evar!!

Tags

blog, blogging, burrito, Doritos, food, Humor, humour, McDonald, Meal, Mexican cuisine, restaurants, satire, sensitive teeth, Stupidity, Wendy, Writing, WRITING PROMPTS

Food!  It’s something I rarely talk about on this here weblog.  But you know if the Daily Post says to talk about something I have to talk about it.  They’ll waterboard your ass if you don’t participate in their prompts.  Or so I’ve heard.  It’s hard to separate truth from fiction these days so I won’t leave it to chance.

Describe the most satisfying meal you’ve ever eaten, in glorious detail. 

My Trips to the Doctor – Updated

Tags

doctor, medical profession, medication, medicine, Stupid, Stupid People, Stupidity

That’s right. I used the plural there. I made two trips to the doctor. I was only supposed to make one, but they had other things in mind apparently.

There are certain medications I have to take every day. Some of these are fairly routine and I can just have the prescriptions refilled a few times before having to go to the doctor. Others are ones that I have to see the doctor for every month. It’s not that they don’t want to give me refills on them. They’re not allowed (by law) to give me refills on them. This is kind of a pain in the ass for me, because I don’t want to see a doctor once a month, but I do because I have to.

Dear Significant Other of my PLATONIC Friend who Happens to be the Opposite Gender that I am:

Tags

Advice, blog, blogging, dating, Disorders, friendship, Health, Mental health, people, Platonic love, Ranting, relationship, Relationships, romance, Stupid People, Stupidity

Dear Significant Other of my PLATONIC Friend who Happens to be the Opposite Gender that I am:

NOTE:  I’ve seen a number of good platonic friendships end, including a recent one of my own.  I don’t get the jealousy and mistrust that seems to be going on these days.

(Whew that was a long salutation).

Sports is Next

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blog, blogging, cars, climate, Humor, humour, Life, Meteorology, National Weather Service, nature, Nemo, New York City, Rush hour, Snow, Stupid People, Stupidity, Thursday, transportation, Winter storm

Hi readers!  A storm named Nemo has ravaged our Northeast friends and pretty much stopped their lives.  I hope my friends and family are safe, I hope you and yours are too…I do need to ask…why are they now giving a name to every act of God or nature?  Did a cosmic veejay get pissed and threaten us with eternal doom because we weren’t naming all children that popped outta her womb?   Educate me please.

Drunken Rants: The Hooters Story

Tags

alcohol, Alcohol intoxication, blog, blogging, drunken rants, Health, Hooters, Humor, humour, Life, Ohio River, Restaurant, Stupid People, Stupidity, Writing

[Editor's Note: Beefybooyawn has been a friend of mine for the last few years.  We went to the same trade school and even worked together for a while as well.  He is a published author and was recently Freshly Pressed.  In short, he stooped pretty low to post here, but he's a nice guy and that's how he rolls.  Once you're finished reading this Unshitty™ story, please take a virtual journey over to Beefy's House and check out his Unshitty™ stuph.]

Normally I do the Drunken Rants on my site, but I’m feeling limber and decided to type one up here for you to enjoy. You know, since the daddy of twin’s has been so gracious as to use up some of his free blogging space in favor of the shit I have to say.

Now you may be wondering if I’m drunk, seeing as how I speak somewhat awesomely. Well, I’m sort of a stickler with what I type. Chances are there will not be many errors in what I type because I’m constantly editing as I write. Even when drunk. Which for me hasn’t happened too much lately because I’m a 33 year old with a failing liver. That’s what happens when you drink like a fish from the age of 5.