So this morning while cleaning house, the twins and I listened to “Weird Al” Yankovic. While listening I felt inspired to count down his best (in my opinion) songs.
I was introduced to “Weird Al” in 1988. I had asked for a copy of Michael Jackson’s Bad for my birthday. My dad wasn’t paying attention and grabbed Weird Al’s Even Worse since the covers looked so similar. At least, I guess that’s how he ended up buying it. I didn’t even realize it was Weird Al until I started listening to it.
Weird Al's cover is on the left and on the right is (obviously) Michael Jackson's cover.
I was somewhat disappointed until I actually listened to the album. It was frickin hilarious. I then found out that my dad had Weird Al’s 3-D on vinyl (that’s a record for you newbs out there) and I was hooked. I eventually collected all of the albums he had put out to date and have gotten every new album released since.
For those who don’t know (why the hell don’t you know?!?!), Weird Al is famous for making parodies of hit songs with (mostly) funny lyrics. He also does his own music and writing, but that’s hit and miss. He also normally has one polka song per album that is a medley of recent Top 40 hits. These are surprisingly fun to listen to.
Anyhow, on to the countdown:
10. TMZ from the Alpocolypse album. This is a parody of You Belong to Me by Taylor Swift (who sucks at music, by the way). This song makes fun of society’s absurd obsession with everything celebrities do and the website TMZ, that reports most of this worthless crap.
Classic lines from the song: You just picked up some transvestite, seconds later its up on the website.
It’s gettin’ to the point where a famous person can’t get a DUI or go on a racist rant.
9. The Night Santa Went Crazy from the Bad Hair Day album. This is a jolly Christmas original by Al, about a stressed out Santa…..who snaps. Jolly old St. Nick has had enough of making (and delivering) toys for all the good boys and girls since none of those boys and girls ever do anything for him.
Classic line from the song: Well the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it. Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet.
8. Don’t Download This Song from the Straight Outta Lynwood album. Al tackles illegal file sharing in this original song. He points out what we all know; downloading music without paying for it is illegal. There’s really only one funny part in this song, but it makes the song.
Classic line from the song: Don’t download this song. Even Lars Urlich knows its wrong. You can just ask him.
7. You’re Pitiful from…..no album. This song is a parody of James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful and was set to be the lead single on Straight Outta Lynwood. James Blunt had given permission for Al to parody the song (even though he doesn’t legally need permission), but shortly before the albums release Blunt’s record label, Atlantic Records, stepped in and said he couldn’t do it. So Al took it off of the album, but put the MP3 on his website and Myspace page as a free download.
The song makes fun of a 42-year old man who still lives at home with his mom.
Classic line from the song: You’re pitiful, it’s true. Never had a date that you couldn’t inflate…and you smell repulsive, too.
6. Your Horoscope for Today from the Running With Scissors album. In this original song, Al makes fun of the idiocy that is astronomy. And it’s epic.
Classic lines from the song: There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus.
A big promotion is just around the corner…for someone much more talented than you.
All your friends are laughing behind your back….KILL THEM!
5. White and Nerdy from the Straight Outta Lynwood album. This is a parody of Ridin Dirty by Chamillionaire. In this song Al pokes fun at all of the white people who want to be “ganstas”.
Classic line from the song: I’m nerdy in the extreme, I’m whiter than sour cream.
4. Yoda from the Dare to be Stupid album. This is a parody of Lola by The Kinks. Even though Al had written this song shortly after The Empire Strikes Back was released, it took 5 years to get permission from both the songwriter and George Lucas before he could add it to an album.
The song is written about the events of The Empire Strikes Back from the viewpoint of Luke Skywalker. This song may or may not be so high on this list because of my Star Wars nerdiness.
Classic line from the song: I know Darth Vader’s really got you annoyed but remember if you kill him then you’ll be unemployed.
3. Jerry Springer from the Running With Scissors album. This song is a parody of One Week by the Bare Naked Ladies (they aren’t even chicks! WTF?). This song pokes fun at the absurdity that is the Jerry Springer show. This is one of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard.
Classic lines from the song: 5 days since they had the show with the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho. There was one guy who I’m sure felt a little strange when he found out that his wife had a sex change.
2. A Complicated Song from the Poodle Hat album. This song is a parody of Complicated by Avril Lavigne. This song describes three highly unlikely, but extremely funny situations. There’s really no way to explain it. You just have to listen to the song.
Classic line from the song: Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated? Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated.
1. Albuquerque from the Running With Scissors album. This original song is 11 minutes of pure, comedic genius. This song details the quirky story of how Al loved living in Albuquerque, how much he hates sauerkraut, and how he made employee of the month at the Sizzler.
Classic lines from the song: He just rolled his eyes and said, “No. I want you to cut of my arms and legs with a chainsaw.” So I did.
Hey! That snorkel was just like a snorkel to me!
There are many other great songs and others I considered for this list but didn’t make it are: Genius in France, Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung, Gotta Boogie, Do I Creep You Out, Truck Drivin Song, Ode to a Superhero, Christmas at Ground Zero, Trigger Happy, Midnight Star, You Make Me, Dare to be Stupid, Phony Calls, Party in the CIA, and Talk Soup.
If you’ve never listened to Al, and you have a great sense of humor, I seriously suggest you check out his music. Good times.